IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that all children should have a pet or an animal to look after. Other people disagree, however, saying that this depends on a child’s circumstances. Consider these opposing views, and give your own opinion.

#people #children #pet #child’s #circumstances
It is often said that for
children
 it is excellent to care
animals
Change preposition
for animals
show examples
.
However
,
this
 is a debatable topic that some people disagree.
This
 essay will discuss the debate and give a concluding view.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand, those who support the idea of caring
pets
Change preposition
for pets
show examples
 or
animals
 in every house or flat by means of
children
 point to the increase of
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 activity in
such
 situations.
For example
, if a child
allocate
Change the verb form
allocates
show examples
 his or her time to play with a dog, it leads to more walking and running.
Furthermore
, it is
also
 true that
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
looking after an animal during childhood causes to increasing the knowledge of the child about
animals
 and
also
 they learn about suitable
Replace the word
behaviour
show examples
behave
Replace the word
behaviour
show examples
 with them in their future life.
Finally
, it seems that
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
caring
Replace the word
care
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childhood can be helpful for having more discipline.
For example
,
children
 have to set some exact time for feeding to pets and playing with them.
By contrast
, opponents of
this
 view point out that all of the homes do not have enough space for pets and
animals
.
In addition
, the costs of caring
animals
Change preposition
for animals
show examples
 do not allow all levels of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to have one.
For example
, in terms of medical care, a dog needs an enormous amount of money for vaccination and special drugs
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 different ages against sicknesses. It seems advisable that looking after
animals
 depends on some essential factors like home size and affordability for supporting them rather than just thinking about
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 interests.
Submitted by 786303334 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: