IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

international sporting events are costly and bring problems to the hosting country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? give specific example.

#events #country
International Sports become more and more important for many countries,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
making it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an industry of making money from hosting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
events. Some
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 it's a bad thing and
making
Verb problem
creates
show examples
 problem for the hosting
country
,
while
 other believe the opposite. So ,In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I'm going to
descas
Correct your spelling
describe
 both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 and give my personal view. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, some
people
 believe that sports
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
 make the
country
 so famous and
helped
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 the
country
.I extremely agree with
this
 opinion.
In other words
,
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 the
sport
 as a marketing
Fix the agreement mistake
tool
show examples
tools
Fix the agreement mistake
tool
show examples
 for sharing
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 name
Change preposition
with
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
wordwild
Correct your spelling
worldwide
word wild
 an example of that
Qatar
Add a missing verb
is Qatar
show examples
 in FIFI 2021 sharing
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 identity and
this
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
so popular because of
there well organized
Replace the word
their organisation
show examples
.
On the other hand
, other
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 the opposite for many thinks I
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 because there not social or they
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not like
strang
Correct your spelling
strange
show examples
people
 from
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
.
Moreover
,
this
event
sport make
Verb problem
caused
show examples
 a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 population and
also
 high
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
traffic cars
also
 the places
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 more crowded an example of that when
crikit
Correct article usage
the crikit
show examples
 game
event
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 in Oman
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
, they were no control
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
people
furthermore
,the government
did
Verb problem
was
show examples
 not
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
ready very well for
this
 huge number of
people
. In conclusion, I
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more advantages than disadvantages, I personally prefer
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports events
show examples
event
 and I see it in a good way to make the
county
Correct your spelling
country
show examples
 more famous in the media and
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
.
Submitted by imad.rashidx on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: