Some children Spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this case? Do you think this is positive or a negative development?

Technology is increasing with many electronic items
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
inovated
Correct your spelling
innovated
in our world.
Smartphones
and digital electronic
diveces
Correct your spelling
devices
are very demanding among People.
Accordingly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
children
are spending more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
with their
smartphones
.
That is
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
problem for society. I will discuss the topic
why is
Verb problem
of
show examples
this
case and I give my opinion. On the one hand, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
society
Add a comma
,society
show examples
people are using many electronic devices
such
as computers, laptops,
smartphones
,
Smart watches
Correct your spelling
Smartwatches
show examples
and different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of digital items. Especially,
Smartphones
are rapidly
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
show examples
in our world. Today
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
of
mobiles
Change the noun form
mobile
show examples
phones
upbriging
Correct your spelling
upbringing
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Furthermore
,more
children
are
addicting
Wrong verb form
addicted
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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mobil
Correct your spelling
mobile
phones
.
That is
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
problem in our community.
Therefore
,
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
mind is
destroying
Wrong verb form
destroyed
show examples
and they are facing for health issues.
On the other hand
, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Children
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
using mobile
phones
.
Then
expanding
Wrong verb form
it expands
show examples
negative development from
kids
.
Firstly
, these days
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most parents are buying
smartphones
for their
children
because more
kids
like to use mobile
phones
. Nowadays it is a trend in our world.
Alihrough
Correct your spelling
Although
,
children
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
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games,
watching
Correct word choice
and watching
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cartoons
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
mobile
phones
.They are addicting.
Therefore
they are
like
Correct your spelling
likely
show examples
to
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
alone and
children
are
separating
Wrong verb form
separated
show examples
from their families.
secondly
, some
kids
are misusing
phones
because they are watching bad
vedioes
Correct your spelling
videos
through the internet.
That is
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
development for our
children
.
However
,
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
mind is
destroying
Wrong verb form
destroyed
show examples
and their skills,
knowledge
Correct word choice
and knowledge
show examples
extication
Correct your spelling
extrication
excitation
extraction
due to
mobile
phones
. Another thing,
children
are facing
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health problems
such
as stress, eye issues,
increasing
Correct word choice
and increasing
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obesity as well. There are a lot of negative developments
growth
Correct word choice
and growth
show examples
with
smartphones
. In conclusion, I assume that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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mobile
phones
are bad
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
for
children
.
Therefore
,
kids
are distancing
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
their families
as well as
knowledge and skills
reducing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. I do not recommend mobile
phones
for
children
.
Submitted by heshanij9 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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