Some children Spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this case? Do you think this is positive or a negative development?

Technology is increasing with many electronic items

are

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

inovated

Correct your spelling

innovated

in our world.

Smartphones

Use synonyms

and digital electronic

diveces

Correct your spelling

devices

are very demanding among People.

Accordingly

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most

children

Use synonyms

are spending more

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

with their

smartphones

Use synonyms

That is

Linking Words

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

problem for society. I will discuss the topic

why is

Verb problem

show examples

this

Linking Words

case and I give my opinion. On the one hand, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern

society

Add a comma

,society

show examples

people are using many electronic devices

such

Linking Words

as computers, laptops,

smartphones

Use synonyms

Smart watches

Correct your spelling

Smartwatches

show examples

and different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of digital items. Especially,

Smartphones

Use synonyms

are rapidly

spread

Wrong verb form

spreading

show examples

in our world. Today

variety

Add an article

a variety

the variety

show examples

mobiles

Change the noun form

mobile

show examples

phones

Use synonyms

upbriging

Correct your spelling

upbringing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,more

children

Use synonyms

are

addicting

Wrong verb form

addicted

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

mobil

Correct your spelling

mobile

phones

Use synonyms

That is

Linking Words

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

problem in our community.

Therefore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mind is

destroying

Wrong verb form

destroyed

show examples

and they are facing for health issues.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Children

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

using mobile

phones

Use synonyms

Then

Linking Words

expanding

Wrong verb form

it expands

show examples

negative development from

kids

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, these days

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most parents are buying

smartphones

Use synonyms

for their

children

Use synonyms

because more

kids

Use synonyms

like to use mobile

phones

Use synonyms

. Nowadays it is a trend in our world.

Alihrough

Correct your spelling

Although

children

Use synonyms

are playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

games,

watching

Correct word choice

and watching

show examples

cartoons

Change preposition

show examples

mobile

phones

Use synonyms

.They are addicting.

Therefore

Linking Words

they are

Correct your spelling

likely

show examples

living

Wrong verb form

live

show examples

alone and

children

Use synonyms

are

separating

Wrong verb form

separated

show examples

from their families.

secondly

Linking Words

, some

kids

Use synonyms

are misusing

phones

Use synonyms

because they are watching bad

vedioes

Correct your spelling

videos

through the internet.

That is

Linking Words

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

development for our

children

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mind is

destroying

Wrong verb form

destroyed

show examples

and their skills,

knowledge

Correct word choice

and knowledge

show examples

extication

Correct your spelling

extrication

excitation

extraction

due to

Linking Words

mobile

phones

Use synonyms

. Another thing,

children

Use synonyms

are facing

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

health problems

such

Linking Words

as stress, eye issues,

increasing

Correct word choice

and increasing

show examples

obesity as well. There are a lot of negative developments

growth

Correct word choice

and growth

show examples

with

smartphones

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I assume that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

mobile

phones

Use synonyms

are bad

electronical

Correct your spelling

electronic

device

Fix the agreement mistake

devices

show examples

for

children

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

kids

Use synonyms

are distancing

Change preposition

from

show examples

their families

as well as

Linking Words

knowledge and skills

reducing

Verb problem

apply

show examples

. I do not recommend mobile

phones

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

heshanij9

Sep 22, 2023

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationship. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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