IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more jobs. Describe some jobs positions that may be costly because of computers and discuss at one problem that may result.

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As each and every moment passes by, there may be some or the other whether it is major or minor technological advancements taking place in the world. With all the development in the field of artificial intelligence,
human
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the human
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work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
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 is
getting
Verb problem
being
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 replaced by computers resulting in the loss of employment. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 we
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 throw light on
this
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 issue and discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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its possible drawbacks. To commence with every advancement in
technical
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a technical
the technical
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 field is an achievement for
human
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the human
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 mind. It is quite obvious that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological advancements are made for better facilities or better quality in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of products.
However
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, the main aim of the advancement is to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human efforts which ultimately lead to the removal of manual inputs of workers resulting in unemployment. One
such
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 example of
this
Linking Words
 particular scenario would be that, in the factories producing eatables,
individual
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individuals
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 were required
for mixing
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to mix
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 ingredients,
pouring
Wrong verb form
pour
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 them into
machine
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the machine
a machine
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 and later on for packing but with the advent of machinery now only one person is required to handle an automated computer which operate all the machines and perform all the task involved in production.
Secondly
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, to continue with advancements
of
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in
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 applied sciences, in
this
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 present
era
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era,
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 the automotive field is
also
Linking Words
 getting the taste of artificial intelligence.
First
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First,
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 it was the invention of
electric
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the electric
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car
Use synonyms
 now it is the invention of
driverless
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the driverless
a driverless
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car
Use synonyms
.
However
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, the automatic driverless
car
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 has
a
Correct article usage
the
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 benefit of undergoing no physical stress
while
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 driving. As we are aware of the fact that it is in the dark where candles shine the most and not in the light,
this
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 situation has its own demerits. For
taking
Wrong verb form
take
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 into consideration, if a driverless
car
Use synonyms
passing
Wrong verb form
passes
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 from the roadside playground & Children
for instance
Linking Words
; might be playing soccer and the ball goes out of bounds and a teen comes
on
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onto
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 the road to collect it. The sensors and the camera of the
car
Use synonyms
 would be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
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 another vehicle in front but not about the child which may lead to a major accident,
whereas
Linking Words
 in the case of humans, the individual could easily avoid the misfortune by applying breaks. Conclusively, with the rapid growth of mechanization being the need of the hour, it has its plausible cons. The use of these technologies could be too limited
Change preposition
in venue
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venue
Fix the agreement mistake
venues
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 like factories and warehouses where there might be a risk of human injury,
whereas
Linking Words
certain
Change preposition
in certain
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 places the human touch is necessary.
Hence
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological advancement should be restricted to a particular limit maintaining a balance of employment

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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