Some parents believe cellphones are harmful to children, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #cellphones #children

One group of people believe that the use of mobile devices is adversely affecting their kids ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

others oppose

this

concern. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my personal viewpoint regarding the positive side of

this

technology. Undoubtedly, the excessive use of cell

phones

by teenagers these days is dangerous not only for their physical health but

also

for their mental well-being. The most prominent cause is the wrong body posture

while

using

phones

and the long screen time leads to poor eyesight.

For example

, in 2022, Ophthalmologists declared that 7 out of 10 teens have weakened eyesight

due to

regular use of mobile devices. Not only

this

but children

also

suffer from mental pressure when they get involved in keeping themselves updated with trends. On the other side, there are innumerable uses of technology if used correctly.

For instance

, students under the poverty line can educate themselves by learning from the internet, YouTube is a great platform to gain knowledge.

Moreover

, kids can communicate with their parents when outside the home and navigate their ways.

Also

, some school-going children who do not have access to musical instruments or software tools , can download applications on their

phones

and practice their skill set.

Therefore

, cell

phones

help in making a child independent. In my opinion,

although

mobile

phones

are quite useful for learning new languages and skills, they should be supervised by parents and should be given only for a limited time. We can not completely restrict the new generation from using

such

technologies. In conclusion, one group of folks is worried that cell

phones

will spoil their children

while

others think the opposite.

This

essay includes both views and my personal opinion.

Submitted by manubadial on Fri Sep 22 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Now, many scientific institutes conduct research on live animals. Some people regard it as cruel and unnecessary while others believe it is justified in the interest of human welfare. Discuss the two views and give your reasons. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this modern world, many researchers have conducted many experiments and research on live animals. Despite the positive result, many people think that this action is reckless. Hence, in this essay I will discuss both point of views and present my opinion in this case.
7.5
band
Some people that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A group of individuals present the view that the most significant environmental problem of today’s world is the extinction of some species of plants and animals, whereas, others believe that there are more substantial environmental difficulties. In my opinion, we have to consider both ideas and find solutions for them.
6.5
band
In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In the past, knowledge was primarily confined to books. However, today's digital era has enabled everyone to acquire knowledge effortlessly. While this digital transition presents several drawbacks, I firmly believe they are outweighed by the advantages.
7
band
In some countries, the government has tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this development is positive? or negative?
It is prevalently observed that the authorities have tried to reduce traffic by imposing a congestion tax during rush hour. From this aspect, questions about whether this phenomenon is a positive or negative development are raised. In my opinion, imposing a congestion tax is ideal.
6
band
As well as making money, businesses should also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that companies put a high priority on generating profit nowadays. While I accept that this perception is somewhat justifiable, I believe that others having public responsibilities are more important considerations rather than money alone.

Some parents believe cellphones are harmful to children, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, the government has tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this development is positive? or negative?

As well as making money, businesses should also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?