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Band 5.5

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest more resources on the young people. Do you agree and disagree?

#country #future #resources #people
The best way for the nation’s development in the future is to invest more resources
on
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in
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younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
 generation. From my personal perspective, I totally agree with
this
 statement
anh
Correct your spelling
and
 I will explain
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 the next part of the essay. First of all, we have to admit that young
people
 are living in one of the most modern
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
 in human civilization, they can access
to
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apply
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other cultures and traditions in
another
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another country
other countries
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countries
, creating
a huge opportunities
Correct the article-noun agreement
huge opportunities
a huge opportunity
show examples
 for them to widen their knowledge and learn
a new languages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new language
new languages
show examples
,
this
 is a vital element that can steer
countries
 to the better future.
For example
, lots of overseas students come back to their nation to help
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 their
countries
 in some fields like science
anhd
Correct your spelling
and
 agriculture.
Secondly
, investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 young
people
 can create skilled
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 and
expert
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expertise
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,
that
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which
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 is really crucial for the modernization of the country. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, lots of developed
countries
 prioritise investing
on
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in
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 education to create
expert
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experts
show examples
 to help developing
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
.
Furthermore
, over the
last
 few decades,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern technology progress
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
rapid. Almost all
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children can access
to
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apply
show examples
the latest technology
such
 as
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 when they are very young. So they are capable
to
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of
show examples
adapt
Verb problem
living
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 the
21th
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21st
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centuries
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century
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 life easily, which
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 very hard for the previous generation.
This
 is the best
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
resource
 for international
intergration
Correct your spelling
integration
 in
4.0
Correct article usage
the 4.0
show examples
 period. In conclusion, young
people
 are living in the modern world so they possess a lot of opportunities and potential for the development and innovation of the
countries
.
Government
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The government
show examples
 should invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these
people
 in order to create of new future for the nation.
Submitted by nguyenhoanghadl on

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task achievement
Be more specific in your examples and provide more details to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure coherence and smooth transition between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Use more precise vocabulary and vary your word choice.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar mistakes, particularly in subject-verb agreement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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