The bar chart shows the typical weekday for students in three different countriesSummarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the typical weekday for students in three different countriesSummarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph illustrates data regarding special working days for classmates in three different states. Generally speaking,
it is clear that
overall
, students spend most of their
time
studying.
Whereas
, they have the least amount of relaxed
time
. First off, the highest number of students sleeping on weekdays in the UK, which was 8.5. The next largest figure is learning
time
, which was 8. At the same
time
, the sleeping
time
in Germany is the same as
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
UK.
Similarly
, the digit of relaxation
time
for learners in both the UK and Germany was 7.
Whereas
, Germany has the maximum learning
time
on weekdays, with the number 9.
On the other hand
, Japan’s studying expenses are the tallest among the typical workdays in three countries, with a figure of 13. Contrary to that, classmates
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
the fewest days to loosen up, which was only 4.
However
, the number of sleeping is slightly more than relaxing, which
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
by 3.
Finally
, Japan has very dramatic weekdays.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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