Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

#people #access #computers #children #video #games

These days, people are living in a digital era, and

as a result

, many

kids

have their own devices and it’s usual for them to enjoy

video

games

every day. Some people believe

video

games

are bad for their

children

while

others are on the opposite side, they literally think no way

video

games

going to harm the

children

. Both sides of

this

problem have their own reasons, so

this

essay will talk about both the disadvantages and advantages of letting

kids

enjoy

video

games

First

thing

first

, let’s move onto the

first

aspect, the advantages aspect. There are two main reasons, the

first

one is

video

games

help them to entertain after hours of learning and studying in classes.

For example

, I am a student, and my schedule is always filled with classes at school or bonus classes or homework. And

video

games

are really an effective and fastest way to entertain me every night.

In addition

, not only me, but

also

many of my classmates enjoy

video

games

, so I believe

video

games

truly help

kids

entertain. The second reason is

kids

can learn to work on a

team

video

games

, especially online

games

or multiplayer. In many online multiplayer

games

children

usually

team

up with their friends or strangers to play, and they can learn about teamwork skills through

this

. You can see

this

happen in many popular

games

like Arena of Valor, players have to work in a

team

of five and the

team

always have to share missions together in order to win. For the disadvantage side, there is one main reason. Playing

video

games

for hours can make

children

's minds always think about

video

games

, which leads to having problems concentrating and keeping their minds on some things for long.

For example

according to

scientific research in New York State USA,

kids

who play

video

games

for longer have longer concentration time and easier to angry,

while

kids

who play less keep calm better and can keep their minds on something for much longer.

To conclude

this

essay has given reasons for both the advantages and disadvantages side of

children

's enjoyment of

video

games

Submitted by k2englishcenter on Sat Sep 23 2023

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task response

The essay does not fully address the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children. The ideas are not developed and lack depth.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure. The ideas are presented in a disorganized manner, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

361 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

some people say that the bicycles are a good, modern means of transportation. others say riding a bicycle has a clear disadvantage. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is good for children to do chores. Others, however, say that children should not be asked to do household tasks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that celebrities deserve more privacy than they have. Do you agree?

The most essential component of a person's life is his or her time at the workplace, and life turns meaningless once no job satisfaction is obtained. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in large cities today poses many problems for people. What are these problems? Should governments encourage more people to live in smaller towns?