IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below show the average monthly temperatures in three major cities

The line graph below show the average monthly temperatures in three major cities
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The line graph shows the
temperature
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 of three major cities in
Celsius
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through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
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 the whole year.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
temperature
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 of
Dubai
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 is significantly higher during the middle of the year than
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Paris
Change preposition
in Paris
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
Sydney
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. One
factors
Change to a singular noun
factor
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 of
this
Linking Words
 is because they are
in
Change preposition
on
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 different continents. Interestingly, the
temperature
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 in
Sydney
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 is lower than the others during July . In
Paris
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, the
temperature
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 during the beginning of the year is very low
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to
Sydney
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 which is extremely high with
Dubai
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 in the middle of both , accounting for 5, 25 and 20 in order. The
temperature
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 of
Paris
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 continues to rise
while
Linking Words
Sydney
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 continues to drop. It at July when both start to change with
Sydney
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’s
temperature
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 starting to rise and
Paris
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’
temperature
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 starting to drop. Unlike
Dubai
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, which keeps getting hotter and hotter and does not ever go down to 15
degrees
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Celsius
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 but is only at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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least
of
Change preposition
apply
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19
degrees
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Celsius
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. When the other cities get hotter
Dubai
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 is the hottest at 36
degrees
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Celsius
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while
Linking Words
Paris
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
Sydney
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 are only at the most
of
Change preposition
apply
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20 and 24
degrees
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Celsius
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 respectively. Despite the
temperature
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Use synonyms
Sydney
Change preposition
in Sydney
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 when the others are hot, it gets colder
due to
Linking Words
 being on different poles
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the globe.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, celsius, dubai, paris, sydney, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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