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Band 5.5

Some peple think that the world is now a large village and we are all responsable for each other.

#peple #world #village #responsable
The
world
 has changed enormously so many
people
 believe that the
world
 nowadays is a huge village where everyone has the need to take care of others.
Personally
Add a comma
,Personally
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 I think that the big changes that we can see today in the way of an act of many
people
 worldwide have allowed many difficult situations for various reasons. It is a reality that currently society is not the same as many years ago when
people
 could live in a healthier environment and free of too many pressures.
This
 situation in the
world
 today, has created more community living in stressful situations, which allows changes in behaviour in the population. Now we can experience more violence cases, intolerance and the lack of many values, which are the base of a healthier society. The current modernism is in many cases the cause of those changes, the need to have access to many devices that some
people
 cannot afford could increase the rate of crime in many cities around the
world
.
However
, despite
this
 accelerated
world
, there are many
people
 who are able to find ways to bear the great exigencies of the modern
world
 and live a calm life. On the earth exist more good
people
 than bad, and we have the responsibility to support each other, in order to create a safe environment where everyone can live freely. Australia
for example
 is a good example of a safe city, compared with many countries in Latin America.
To conclude
, working together as a society
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 can lead to the construction of a better
world
 where everyone can live with peace and enjoy it. Many governments worldwide should copy some good examples of countries that have accomplished having safe cities, with the aim to create communities happy and sure.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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