Some peple think that the world is now a large village and we are all responsable for each other.

The

world

Use synonyms

has changed enormously so many

people

Use synonyms

believe that the

world

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nowadays is a huge village where everyone has the need to take care of others.

Personally

Add a comma

,Personally

show examples

I think that the big changes that we can see today in the way of an act of many

people

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worldwide have allowed many difficult situations for various reasons. It is a reality that currently society is not the same as many years ago when

people

Use synonyms

could live in a healthier environment and free of too many pressures.

This

Linking Words

situation in the

world

Use synonyms

today, has created more community living in stressful situations, which allows changes in behaviour in the population. Now we can experience more violence cases, intolerance and the lack of many values, which are the base of a healthier society. The current modernism is in many cases the cause of those changes, the need to have access to many devices that some

people

Use synonyms

cannot afford could increase the rate of crime in many cities around the

world

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However

Linking Words

, despite

this

Linking Words

accelerated

world

Use synonyms

, there are many

people

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who are able to find ways to bear the great exigencies of the modern

world

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and live a calm life. On the earth exist more good

people

Use synonyms

than bad, and we have the responsibility to support each other, in order to create a safe environment where everyone can live freely. Australia

for example

Linking Words

is a good example of a safe city, compared with many countries in Latin America.

To conclude

Linking Words

, working together as a society

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can lead to the construction of a better

world

Use synonyms

where everyone can live with peace and enjoy it. Many governments worldwide should copy some good examples of countries that have accomplished having safe cities, with the aim to create communities happy and sure.

adibaerfan2Sat Sep 23 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

294 words

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Some peple think that the world is now a large village and we are all responsable for each other.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

in many countries today, if people want to find works, they have to move away from their friends and families. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Does internet need to be controlled by the government?

Topic: The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?