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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. Describe the information shown below in your own words. What implications do the indicators have for the countries? You should write at least 150 words.

The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. Describe the information shown below in your own words. What implications do the indicators have for the countries? You should write at least 150 words.
#indicators #four #countries #nations #statistics #information #implications
The display table provides information on social
as well as
 economic indicators for 4 nations in the year 1994,
according to
 United Nations statistics.
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
 indicators, in annual
income
 per
person
 in the $
US
Add the comma(s)
,US
show examples
 is 11100, in
life
expectancy
 at
birth
Add the comma(s)
,birth
show examples
 is 76, in daily
calorie
ssupply
Correct your spelling
supply
 per
person
 is 3326 and in
adult
literacy
rate
 is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
99%. In Japan,
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
income
 per
person
 in $
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 is 15760,
life
expectancy
 at
birth
 is 78, in daily
calorie
 supply per
person
 is 2846 and in
adult
literacy
rate
 is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
99%. In Peru,
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
income
 per
person
 is 160,
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
expectancy
 at
birth
 is 51,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
daily
calorie
 supply per
person
 is 1927 and
adult
Correct article usage
the adult
show examples
literacy
rate
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 68%
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 In Zaire, in annual
income
 per
person
 is 130, in
life
expectancy
 at
birth
 is 47, in daily
calorie
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
supply per
person
 is 1749 and
adult
Correct article usage
the adult
show examples
literacy
rate
 is 34%.
To conclude
, the above data describes indicators of Canada, Japan, Peru
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 Zaire in the year 1994.
Submitted by purvaam383 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words income, person, life, expectancy, birth, calorie, adult, literacy, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • indicators
  • population
  • GDP per capita
  • life expectancy
  • literacy rate
  • infant mortality rate
  • prosperous
  • less developed
  • level of education
  • healthcare
  • improvements
  • services
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