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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects

#percentage #children #society #years #effects
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Nowadays, parents have many things to concern for their kids and one of the biggest issues is overweight. Many research says
people
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 who were born after 1999 in Western countries tend to be obese before turning 15
years
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 old. These kinds of problems are getting more serious in the
last
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 10
years
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.
This
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 essay will discuss what causes these problems and the effects that can happen.
Firstly
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, we can’t argue that the main reason for these things is
food
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. Today,
food
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’s qualities are getting worse than 20
years
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 ago and
that is
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 because of a high number of
junk
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food
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 restaurants.
For example
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, 20
years
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 ago, there were only 1-2 places per city, but now, we can easily find
junk
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food
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 in every block, so the more
junk
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food
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 they sell, the more kids weigh. The second reason is their lifestyles that have changed. Children today don’t play outside as much as before. They mostly stay in their house and do things
such
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 as playing video games or chatting with friends. Even though there are many campaigns that encourage children to go outside they tend to not care much. To discuss the effect that
this
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 problem could cause, the first thing they will face is health problems. Since they don’t go outside and eat only
junk
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food
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, their weight can increase very easily.
Moreover
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, another effect is the high risk of accidents.
People
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 who are fat are not fast enough to react to emergency situations and that could cause a chain reaction in other
people
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 as well.
For instance
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, if we have tsunamis, fat
people
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 cannot run away and there are lot of chance that they could smash other
people
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.
To sum up
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, the cause of overweight children is a risen number of
junk
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food
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 restaurants and
also
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 their lifestyle that encourages them to stay at home and not move much. From these causes, the effects that possibly happen to them are bad health and accidents that tend to affect other
people
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.
Submitted by shayakornsupasatit on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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