There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

This

Linking Words

is a stressful era for students who want to stand out in schoolwork. Some suggest that non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

should be kicked out of the syllabus to ensure kids focus on academic work. I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

proposal. All

subjects

Use synonyms

are critical for children's development. Skipping sports and cookery at

school

Use synonyms

to gain more time for math and science is nothing but short-sightedness. Success in standardized tests is not everything. Children need comprehensive development to cultivate a personality with perseverance, patience, and sportspersonship.

For instance

Linking Words

, statistics show that the most respected CEOs are usually not those with business

school

Use synonyms

degrees, but those who are formerly athletes.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, being involved in physical education or cooking can boost a student's academic performance. Studies show that music and physical exercise are great complements to the day-to-day study. They can even accelerate cognitive development and elevate memory. Admittedly, these

subjects

Use synonyms

do take up a significant amount of time. I can remember that when I paid less attention to courses like arts or music in high

school

Use synonyms

, I was able to laser focus on the "main" classes. Since they have no direct impact on exam results, it is reasonable to strategically neglect them and focus on English and chemistry.

However

Linking Words

, life is not just about exams. In fact, the scores of tests or what schools people attend have less and less influence on people's achievement. The characteristics and values of a person,

on the other hand

Linking Words

, can have long-lasting influence on his or her accomplishments. In conclusion, I am completely against the notion of deprecating non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

school

Use synonyms

. Grades and college admission are not worth sacrificing

Change preposition

for a

show examples

Change preposition

for a

show examples

happy and meaningful childhood. Parents and educators need to value the significance of personality-building disciplines. PE classes, arts, cooking, and volunteering can be as defining as history and biology for students' future careers and well-being.

Submitted by bianzhengyang on Sat Sep 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some employers are willing to give their workers a certain amount of unpaid sabbatical* time, believing this benefits the individual and the organisation. Other employers see no merit in this arrangement and discourage it. Consider the possible arguments for and against unpaid sabbatical leave, and reach a viewpoint of your own. * Unpaid sabbatical time or leave = extended, unpaid time off work, in which an employee can follow personal interests or studies, and then return to work.
According to brain behaviour, a calm mind has more productivity than a busy one during work. In this point of view, some employers offer a certain amount of unpaid sabbatical time to increase their employees' yield and on the other hand, some of them disagree with this solution. Both approach has some benefits and drawbacks. In this essay, I will consider each one.
5
band
In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience. Write at least 250 words.
Childhood obesity is one of the increasing problems in the majority of the countries. I believe that, one of the main reasons behind is, parents being lethargic on their childer's health and the other cause for this issue is tramendous increase in the fast food chains. This essay will discuss further more about the reasons and followed by that it will discuss how this can be solved by an individual or a government.
5.5
band
Nowadays more are more people are deciding to have a baby in later life. What are the reasons? And how to solve this problem?
It is undeniable that people are putting some important decisions on hold these days due to their hectic schedules and giving birth has become a later decision in people's lives. I will discuss the reasons why people decide to have a child in later life as well as some remedies to tackle this obstacle in the upcoming paragraphs.
5.5
band
some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is a common view that men and women have different characteristics, therefore some jobs are more suitable for men and some for women. This essay agrees with this statement and will explain further in the essay.
5
band
Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
These days, choosing country to work as a doctor and engineer is now one of the most controversial issues that people like to debate. I believe that individuals who majoring in medicals and technologies have the right to choose country where they want to work.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays more are more people are deciding to have a baby in later life. What are the reasons? And how to solve this problem?

some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.