IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart gives information about the number of car journeys into the city centre made by residents and non-residents. Write a summery with 150 words

The bar chart gives information about the number of car journeys into the city centre made by residents and non-residents. Write a summery with 150 words
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given bar chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of car trips that entered
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the town centre made by inhabitants and non-inhabitants.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
,during the first four
years
Use synonyms
 ,
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of trips
made
Add a missing verb
was made
show examples
 by people who live in the city and after the parking meters had
introdused
Correct your spelling
introduced
 the trend became inverse till 2002.
while
Linking Words
Change preposition
in the
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 three
years
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the figures
show examples
figures
Correct article usage
the figures
show examples
Change preposition
for
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both
categorry
Correct your spelling
category
categories
reduced
Change preposition
in drastically
show examples
drastically
Change preposition
in drastically
show examples
 compared to previous
years
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,The average
number
Use synonyms
 of journeys made by the community
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 between 9000
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 10000 during the first 4
years
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 outsiders in 1996 ,
about
Add a missing verb
were about
show examples
 5000 and increased slightly to just above 8000 in 1999.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
,When parking meters
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
 introduced in 2000,It
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
noticeble
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 that the amount of
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
show examples
 cars
reduced
Add a missing verb
was reduced
show examples
 to under 5000
whereas
Linking Words
 the non-citizens figures remained approximately
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same amount (8000) until the
westgate
Change the capitalization
Westgate
show examples
 street
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
park lane closed to traffic
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of 2002.In the
last
Linking Words
 three
years
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 of
motir
Correct your spelling
motor
 vehicles stayed
bellow
Correct your spelling
below
show examples
 4000 except the average count of trips made by non-residents in 2005 went up to just below 5000.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • car journeys
  • residents
  • non-residents
  • increase
  • years
  • significantly
  • approximately
  • difference
  • gap
  • widened
What to do next:
Look at other essays: