IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
In
this
 day and age, It is true that voluntary
work
 namely working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children, should be an essential part of high school education.
However
, some
people
 think that there is no need to force
students
 to do that. In the following essay, I will shed light on my opinion.
To begin
 with, unpaid compulsory
service
 should be a compulsory part of high school programmes as it not only provides benefits to the
community
 but
also
 helps
students
’ personal development.
Initially
, pupils can learn new skills and a sense of empathy from volunteer
work
.
For instance
, young children can promote leadership skills and encourage
people
 to be good role models by teaching sports.
Furthermore
, they can strengthen their relationship with their neighbourhood, they
also
 make new friends of all ages.
On the other hand
, there are many advantages to unpaid
community
service
, some
people
 think that it should not be in education.
As a result
, some
students
 may have other activities outside of school that make it difficult for them to split time to join the charity
work
.
Moreover
, some
students
 may not have private transportation or live in an area without many opportunities for
community
service
,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 might lead to a burden on
students
. In conclusion, unpaid
service
 can teach children important life skills meanwhile
also
 positively impacting their
community
. Some
people
 find it difficult to take part in volunteer
work
thus
 having a chance to do charity
work
 is a valuable experience.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: