The graph shows the number of girls and boys playing sport in an English town in 2012

#girls #boys #sport #english #town

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The bar chart presents information about

Use synonyms

boys

Change noun form

boys'

boy's

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and

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girls

Change noun form

girls'

girl's

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preferences in playing six types of

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sport

Change the noun form

sports

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activities in a British town in 2012. The main fact that stands out is that the

most

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

favourite

sport

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for

boys

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was football

while

Linking Words

for

girls

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it was swimming. Two types of

sport

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attracted a bigger number of males, 60

boys

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played football and 50 tennis.

Linking Words

While the

Correct word choice

The

show examples

least interesting

sport

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was hockey, which was chosen by 15 children only. Badminton, cycling and swimming

was

Change the verb form

were

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selected by a somewhat equal number of

boys

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which was between 30 and 40.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the highest number of

girls

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, 50 people, chose swimming as their main

sport

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activity. Tennis and badminton were selected by

almost

Add an article

an almost

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equal amount of

girls

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, 38 and 40 respectively. 20

girls

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only were interested in cycling and football and hockey was the least interesting type of

sport

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hence

Linking Words

only 9

girls

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were playing it.

Submitted by roulaga on Sun Sep 24 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, sport with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

153 words

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The graph shows the number of girls and boys playing sport in an English town in 2012

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the itadvantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

Some people think that only government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals have a lot of influence. What is your opinions?