IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 254 words.

#people #world #life
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It is generally accepted that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
every
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
one
Use synonyms
like
Change the verb form
likes
show examples
 to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
live
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
getting old is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human nature.Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that getting old is
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
 bad in the modern world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,others say that it is much better than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 I agree with both these
statement
Change the determiner
statements
show examples
.In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I'll discuss both these points with examples and my own opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,It is true that no
one
Use synonyms
 like to
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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 old and wants to
continoue
Correct your spelling
continue
 their
life
Use synonyms
 as a young.
People
Use synonyms
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of treatments and experiments to keep their
health
Use synonyms
 and
appearence
Correct your spelling
appearance
 as long as they can.I think it
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 they believe ,
when
Correct word choice
that when
show examples
getting
Wrong verb form
they get
show examples
 old they have to depend on their children or someone.Not only that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 problems and
dissabilities
Correct your spelling
disabilities
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 major concerns.I have seen some older individuals having some bad experiences
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
.As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 example,my mother is a
middle age
Correct your spelling
middle-aged
show examples
women
Change the noun form
woman
show examples
 and she started to
do excercise
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
 and some medications because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
she wants to spend her
life
Use synonyms
independantly
Correct your spelling
independently
.My opinion is that we need to
Add a missing verb
be concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 about our future and need to plan
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as extra income,
Use synonyms
health
Correct word choice
and health
show examples
insurance
Use synonyms
 and need to make our
last
Linking Words
 ages without
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on someone.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Today
Change noun form
Today's
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has
establish
Change the verb form
established
show examples
 new rules and regulations for
every
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
one
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
concerning their
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
retirement
life
Use synonyms
.They implemented better
insurance
Use synonyms
 system ,hospitals ,
elders
Fix the agreement mistake
elder
show examples
 homes and nursing facilities for elder
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, I remotely work in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
insurance
Use synonyms
 sector in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and I have seen most of them
planned
Wrong verb form
plan
show examples
 their retirement
life
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
middle age.They have engaged with
insurance
Use synonyms
 plans and retirement
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
,in case of if they have to face some
health
Use synonyms
 issues or
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 issues in the future .
Linking Words
According to
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my point of view today governments implemented
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of things for elder
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 live without problems in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future.
To conclude
Linking Words
,getting old is something that
every
Correct your spelling
everyone
show examples
one
Use synonyms
fiere
Correct your spelling
faces
 but the modern world
already
Add a missing verb
is already
show examples
 ready to
make
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
necessory
Correct your spelling
necessary
 actions to make elder
people
Use synonyms
 happy.
Submitted by thiliniranatunga1994 on

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