The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The pie charts illustrate how young

individuals

Use synonyms

who were between 18 to 25 chose devices to watch

Use synonyms

in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

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, we can see that,

while

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the proportion of watching television by mobile phone, tablet and flat-screen

Use synonyms

increased, the percentage of laptops, desktop computers and conventional

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decreased. Among the devices conventional TVs, flat-screen TVs and tablets had the biggest changes. In 2009, more than one-third of people in Canada used conventional

Use synonyms

. But in 2019,

this

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share decreased significantly by 30% and reached 4%. In 2009, 20% of

individuals

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watched

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from their laptop, in 2019 reduced by 8% and reached 12%.

individuals

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who use desktop computers experienced the same pattern and fell by 6% (from 18% to 12%). The proportion of people who used flat-screen TVs tripled from 2009 to 2019 ( 8% to 27%) and got the highest rank in 2019.

Moroever

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Moreover

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Correct word choice

apply

show examples

while

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apply

show examples

tablets had the lowest percentage in 2009, got four times and reached about 19%.

individuals

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who used mobile phones to watch television rose by 11% from 15% to 26%.

Submitted by shahab_e2020 on Sun Sep 24 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words individuals, tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

180 words

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults . Do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that plastic shopping bags should be banned because they contribute to land and sea pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your local bookshop has invited members of the public to recommend a guest speaker for an upcoming event that will include a series of talks from well-known people.