IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe thet media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this oppoinion?

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children #oppoinion
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It is often argued that the spotlight on
the
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celebrities
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 has exposed our
children
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 to all of their controversies and bad gestures.
While
Linking Words
 I believe there
has
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have
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 been more negative effects on our youth than positive, it is still true that not all of the
news
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 on famous
people
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are
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is
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distructive
Correct your spelling
destructive
 and in fact, some of them are useful. In my opinion, our
media
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 coverage
on
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of
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the
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apply
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famous
people
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 has led to serious problems among our young generation more often than not.
Fistly
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Firstly
,
people
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 in their childhood, are the most sensitive they can get
and
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so, even small spoiled
news
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 could
leave
Verb problem
have
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 long-lasting effects on them.
For instance
Linking Words
, it usually changes how they think, dream and behave in
real
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the real
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 world.
Secondly
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, a lot of celebs expose themselves to a variety of substances and
therefore
Linking Words
, might not always act on purpose and give wrong clues to our young.
Finally
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, it is very common that these
people
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 become famous over one night and they are never taught to be
a
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apply
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good role model
and
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consequently
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, the extensive
media
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 coverage of their
news
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, introduce
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an enourmous
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enourmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 amount of fake role models to the
children
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's world.
On the other hand
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, there is still a tiny part of their population that our
children
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 could learn from. We should remember that,
while
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 a lot of scientists are unknown, a few of them are still considered
as
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apply
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celebrities
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 and will have their discoveries and inventions covered by the
media
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. I remember watching a
news
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 broadcast especially covering academic achievements of young students when I was a child and I have to admit, it played a huge role in my interest in science.
Furthermore
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, our kids usually look up to
the
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apply
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celebrities
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 and dream of being successful and famous one day, which is not a bad wish in itself if their parents teach them the right way to succeed in life. So, it is not hidden
to
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from
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the
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apply
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society that some
of
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apply
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celebrities
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 might inspire
the
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apply
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children
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 to achieve greatness.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 in my eyes, less
media
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 should be covering famous
people
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's lives than they are doing now, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 still some aspects of their lives that could be helpful for our youth's future.
Submitted by parham.moonesi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overemphasis
  • Materialism
  • Skewed understanding
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Self-esteem
  • Normalizing
  • Privacy Invasion
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Educational content
  • Distraction
  • Informative media
  • Promotion
  • Instant gratification
  • Glamorous
  • Consumption
  • Idolize
  • Superficial
  • Real-life heroes
  • Critical thinking
  • Engagement
  • Social issues
  • Negative behaviors
  • Awareness
  • Personal boundaries
  • Respect
  • Role models
  • Contribute
What to do next:
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