Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

One of the most crucial and important life decisions is choosing a career path. Some social experts argue that seeking a higher educational degree is essential to secure a proper job
while
,
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apply
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others argue that gaining experience in the real world and developing skills related to a desired profession is more important. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion on the
mater
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matter
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. Most office
jobs
nowadays require an individual to have at least a bachelor's degree.
For example
, engineering, computer science, accounting and the list goes on
while
, others require even higher degrees like academic and, diplomatic
jobs
. The job market is highly competitive and having experience alone will not be sufficient for a person to be hired or receive future promotions.
For example
, LinkedIn is a platform for professional profiles where people can look for new
jobs
and apply for them. It is notable that all
jobs
on
this
platform require a university education even for entry-level positions.
However
, having skills and previous experiences are key for crafts where a profession and its specific ways are passed from one generation to another, to name a few, carpentering, tailoring, or like in Japan, sword making. In those examples universities and colleges are not important and have no role in making an individual excel in
such
jobs
whereas
, working in different workshops and with different experts and mentors adds more to their knowledge. To name an example, for an individual to become a professional athlete it is expected they practice
this
sport and train to qualify for competitions on national and international level. In conclusion, the qualifications required for a profession differ depending on the nature and the type of the desired career. Some
jobs
mandate tertiary qualifications
whereas
others require previous experiences and related skills. It is important for young individuals, their parents and their mentors to discuss future career choices and prepare the appropriate credentials.
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task response
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While you have discussed both views, your personal opinion could have been more explicitly stated in a separate paragraph to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. The essay structure is generally good, but some transitions between ideas could be clearer to enhance the overall flow.
supporting main points
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This helps in making your argument more compelling and relatable to the reader.
task response
Your essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task's requirement to discuss both views.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively present, providing a strong start and finish to the essay.
task achievement
Your writing shows clear comprehension of the topic, with well-developed ideas and relevant examples.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
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