in some part of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades. explain possible reason for this problem and suggest some solution.
In the
last
few years rate of separation between married couples has increased by an alarming amount. In the below paragraphs, I will explain both possible causes and will look for some hopeful solutions.
Linking Words
To begin
with, there are so many reasons behind the hike in the rate of divorce. Out of the all reasons main reason is women's empowerment, recently almost all women have been working to make themselves self-independent or to support family.Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
according to
a survey in most of the divorce cases, the majority of women are financially independent.Linking Words
In addition
, in the past couples had feelings of warmth and care for each other but today they hardly get time to talk with each other Linking Words
due to
stressful life and demanding jobs.
Even though the issue is serious with some basic solutions it can be resolved easily. The first and most affecting solution is a willingness to solve issues with warm communication between couples. Whenever any person shares his or her viewpoint another one needs to understand it. Linking Words
For example
, if an issue is too serious to discuss they can seek the help of elders so it can be resolved. Linking Words
Secondly
, spending time with each other is even good solution. it is better to leave demanding and stressful jobs for the cause of family life.
Linking Words
To sum up
, the rate of breaks up in married life has boomed because of financially independent females and stressful lifestyles. Every issue can be resolved with proper and mature communication and by selecting priorities between family and jobs.Linking Words
Submitted by jaimini2000 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task response
Task response: The essay adequately addresses the prompt by exploring possible causes of increased divorce rates and suggesting solutions. However, the essay could benefit from a deeper exploration of the causes and more specific and actionable solutions.
Coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported with relevant examples. However, there is room for improvement in linking ideas more effectively and developing a stronger connection between the causes and the solutions.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?