IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is not neccessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can just learn much from books, films and the internet . Do you agree or disagree ?

#neccessary #travel #places #culture #people #books #films #internet
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It is argued that nowadays
people
 have access to
enormous
Add an article
the enormous
an enormous
show examples
 amount of
books
, movies and content on the internet, they can just learn about any
culture
 they wish, without needing to visit there themselves.
Although
 I think the mentioned points are great means of learning
a
Change preposition
about a
show examples
foreign
culture
, I still believe they cannot replace the effect of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to a place and seeing things for yourself. It is obvious that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology,
people
 are learning about any
culture
 they want, easier these days.
Firstly
, going through different
books
 of various centuries gives
the
Correct pronoun usage
us the
show examples
 opportunity
of experiencing
Change preposition
to experience
show examples
 their history by ourselves.
Secondly
,
although
 movies have been around for a shorter part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history, we can still learn about
people
's thoughts, clothes and foods of their contemporary
culture
.
Finally
, the internet is
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
always helpful and there is a variety of vlogs and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
courses on foreign cultures
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 platforms
such
 as Youtube.
However
, it is important for us to avoid having bias in the
books
 we read and the films we watch and
moreover
, look out for all of the misinformation we witness on the internet.
On the other hand
, one should visit a place if he truly wants to learn about their society.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 to a place provides you with the chance
of getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 to know the
people
,
tasting
Wrong verb form
taste
show examples
 the food and
witness
Wrong verb form
witnessing
show examples
 the architectural design of the building there. Indeed, some of these experiences cannot be gained through reading
books
 or watching movies.
For example
, you really don't know how Iranian food tastes without eating it in a traditional
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
 in Iran.
Furthermore
, we know for a fact that most of the famous
culture
 researchers and historians were actually,
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
. One great example could be Markopolo who visited every country on the Silk Road and took some great notes about each country.
To conclude
,
while
 today's technology has enabled us to have access to a tremendous amount of data and a whole lot of
people
 get interested in other cultures
this
 way, I believe one still has to visit and feel other cultures
instead
 of only witnessing it from far distances.
Submitted by parham.moonesi on

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