Many people believe that children should spend their time reading stories rather than playing computer games or watching television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many individuals think that

children

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should spend their time reading

tradition

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traditions

show examples

instead

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of playing computer

games

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or watching

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. I completely disagree with

this

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statement because

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and playing computer

games

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speed up the learning

process

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and enhance creativity.

To begin

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with, I totally believe that offspring should spend their time playing

video

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games

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or watching television rather than reading stories.

Firstly

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, watching

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can boost the learning

process

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among

children

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This

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is because television contains pictures and sounds, which can make watching television more interesting.

For example

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, by watching fiction movies

children

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can learn how to think outside of the box , which can boost creativity among

children

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Secondly

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, often

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programs use simple vocabulary easy to understand for

children

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In contrast

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, reading stories from books is often boring and

using

Wrong verb form

uses

show examples

complex language, which makes the learning

process

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more challenging for

children

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Finally

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, playing

video

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games

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can improve

solving problems

Correct word choice

problem-solving

show examples

skills among

children

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This

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is because some

video

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games

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encourage

children

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to solve puzzles in order to win

games

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, which can increase intelligence among

children

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Moreover

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, researchers have proven playing computer

games

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with

children

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can contribute to making offspring less vulnerable to

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

mental health issues namely, depression, anxiety, and stress.

This

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due to

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the fact that

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apply

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playing

video

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games

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is considered exercise for the brain, which means

video

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games

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improve brain functions.

To sum up

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, I strongly think that

children

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should spend their time playing

video

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games

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or watching

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instead

Linking Words

of reading

legend

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legends

show examples

because playing televised

games

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and watching

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enhance the learning

process

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, creativity, and brain functions.

[email protected]Sun Sep 24 2023

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task achievement

While your essay covers multiple points, ensure each supporting point is fully developed and directly related to the main argument. For instance, elaborate on how watching TV and playing video games specifically speed up learning rather than just suggesting they do. Adding more specific examples will strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which is good. However, transitioning between ideas can be smoother. Use cohesive devices to better connect paragraphs and link ideas logically. For example, rather than jumping to playing video games in your second main point, use phrases like 'Additionally' or 'Furthermore'.

coherence cohesion

Some of your sentences are too lengthy and contain minor grammatical errors, consider breaking them up for readability. Also, ensure correct word usage; for example, instead of 'offspring', using 'children' consistently would improve clarity.

task achievement

The essay successfully provides a clear stance and maintains this position throughout, which is essential for Task Achievement.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments neatly.

coherence cohesion

You use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary, which is beneficial for clarity and engagement.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Many people believe that children should spend their time reading stories rather than playing computer games or watching television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more companies are willing to view graduates of online universities on an equal level as those who attended brick-and-mortar classrooms. Discuss the advantages of both styles of learning as it relates to the working world.

The impact of the mobile phone on modern communication

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior.Do you agree or disagree?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code.