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Writing Samples
Band 6

Drug abuse is becoming a problem in our society. •What are the causes of this and •what are some solutions

#drug #abuse #society #•what
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Repeating the
use
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 of addictive substances is one of biggest the difficulties all over the world. Lack of
job
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 opportunities and some psychological deficiencies can widen addiction.
Also
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, an improved educational system and more
job
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 situations can avoid these social troubles.
First,
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Family is the first support that every person has and unfortunately, when there are many problems ,
such
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 as poor family environment, family breakdown, and frequent parental fights, leading to an unsafe environment for the members of the family,
consequently
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, teenagers and parents turn to drug abuse to temporarily forget their headaches.
Secondly
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, governments don’t prepare enough
job
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 situations in their countries so some adults decide to broadcast pharmaceuticals to earn money.
Thirdly
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, schools and universities have huge pressure on students to achieve good grades,
as a result
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, some weak pupils
use
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 narcotics to increase their level of alertness. Governments have to control addiction in many ways,
such
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 as providing many
job
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 opportunities for different groups of society and
also
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 establishing financial support policies to financially support families who are facing financial problems and arranging free counselling sessions to make the institution of families more cohesive .
On the other hand
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, educational institutions should explain the serious physical and psychological dangers of drug
use
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 to students and encourage them not to
use
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 drugs, and
also
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 explain that if students
use
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 remedy even once, they can be involved in its consumption for the rest of their lives . In conclusion, Addiction arises
due to
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 complications in family, education and government institutions. So improving policy employment and an enhanced educational system must reduce the
use
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 of drugs.
Submitted by zare.19866 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly defined and tied to the main points of the essay. Ensure each paragraph supports the main argument and is logically structured.
task response
The essay provides a response to each part of the question, but the points need to be expanded upon and supported further. Ensure that the main points are clearly presented and supported with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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