IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Most
people
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 have
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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 in their
lives
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. They have to take a
risk
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both
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 for their professional and personal
lives
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.
This
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 essay will discuss
both
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 views of
people
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 taking risks. In my opinion, the advantage of taking risks for
both
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 of them is more important amid
in
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apply
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unstable economic conditions. There is a benefit to taking other jobs which is an essential part of
people
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's
lives
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. Gaining more money and building a new connection to boost career projection. The most important thing is a good life's welfare. It is because an unstable economy and high rate of inflation encourage
people
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 to purchase basic needs more expensive.
However
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, they take a
risk
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 to fulfil their family expense and these initiatives
also
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 will increase
people
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's income in the future.
On the other hand
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, taking a
risk
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 in
both
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 professional and personal
lives
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 are
also
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 a drawback.
People
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 may face health conditions and
time
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 with family.
This
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 problem occurs when they focus on achieving their dream.
First,
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in certain cases, health problems occur when they work overtime.
As a result
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, diabetes and high rate blood as
a
Correct article usage
the
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 main causes among
people
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. Regarding some
of
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apply
show examples
research,
people
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 have limited
time
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 for work more or less 8-10 hours a day.
Second,
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time
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 with family is a main problem where most
people
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 spend
time
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 with their family
instead
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 of working. Indeed, these issues will cope with some of
solutions
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the solutions
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such
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 as taking a job by working remotely.
To conclude
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, gaining more money by taking another job is a solution to fulfil family spending.
However
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, there are drawbacks
such
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 as facing health conditions and less
time
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 with family. Finding a job by working remotely is a win-win solution to overcome these issues.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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