IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many scientists believe that now we can study the behavior of a three-year-old child to see whether they will grow up to be criminals. To what extent do you think crime is determined by human nature? Is is possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

#scientists #study #behavior #child #criminals #crime #nature #children
In
this
 contemporary era, numerous scientists are of the opinion that it is possible to predict the
future
 position of a three-year-old child to see if they will be an offender. In my opinion, human nurture can play a vital role in turning to crimes. I am
also
 convinced that parents and governments can harness
children
's futures. It is my view that what people need by their human nature is to be loved. Rarely does it happen that
children
 who have been loved by their parents turn to crimes because they have achieved their primary need at an early age.
In addition
, they have been taught to enhance their abilities and prowesses in order to provide a better life for their descendants.
For instance
,
children
 who have been raised in a family which did not give heed to them are more likely to consume different drugs so as to seek a way for attention.
Therefore
, meeting the youngsters' needs is a decisive factor in their
future
 behaviour. I
further
 believe that not only can a high-level education system modify their way of living but
also
this
 system can accelerate the process of
children
's flourishing.
Consequently
, governments and parents can provide toddlers with a substantial infrastructure so as to greater development in their capabilities.
Moreover
, societies should raise public awareness about families' roles in the
future
 development of
children
. In conclusion, human nature is an important factor in their
future
 behaviour because what they need is to be loved. From my perspective, an advanced education system can lead to better improvement in toddlers' abilities.
Submitted by Fatemeghahremanii97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: