In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?

In
this
day and age, one of the major issues
concern
Change the form of the verb
concerning
show examples
our society is whether
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
increasingly discuss how much
money
earn and how much pay for things in daily talks is merit or demerit
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
There will be
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
some causes behind
this
tendency and negative aspects of thinking about
money
more
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
perspectives in
this
essay.
To begin
with, it is seen obviously that some reasons why
money
can play an important role in
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
conversations in spite of
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
that there are serious problems damaging their lifestyles or society.
Firstly
, the costs of goods are high
whereas
their wages are low
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
addicted
talking
Change preposition
to talking
show examples
about just earnings and how to use them properly.
Secondly
, the measurement of individual status can be considered the essential way to solve any
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
.
For instance
,
people
communicate
one
Change preposition
with one
show examples
another
their
Change preposition
about their
show examples
status related to their luxurious clothes, valuable
jewelries
Change the wording
jewelry
pieces of jewelry
show examples
or how much savings. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, poor
people
are being avoided and
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
contemptuous.
However
, some negative effects can be led by communicating
like
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
way.
In paying
Change preposition
Paying
show examples
attention to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
enough
money
for expenses can
head
Correct your spelling
lead
show examples
health
Change preposition
to health
show examples
problems
such
as stress, depression or heart attacks.
Due to
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
that, they think that spending savings for entertainment is not necessary since the prices of goods and salaries are not equal.
Consequently
, they miss all chances to contribute
mitigating
Change preposition
to mitigating
show examples
stressful situations and always be
uphill
Add an article
an uphill
show examples
struggle
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
ends meet.
Furthermore
, human beings are converging to be contacted by just their position
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
they own how much wealth.
For instance
,
while
Change preposition
at
show examples
social gatherings humans try to find
about
Change preposition
out about
show examples
their relatives’ properties
such
as their brandy car being bought recently
instead
of worrying about their family situations or healthies.
To sum up
, there may
some
Add a missing verb
be some
show examples
causing factors that
people
prefer to talk about earnings more than other situations
while
some detrimental effects may be brought behind
this
tendency.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • financial transparency
  • societal taboos
  • economic fluctuations
  • financial management
  • financial literacy
  • purchasing decisions
  • wealth glorification
  • economic stratification
  • social comparison
  • peer pressure
  • income disparity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: