Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There are numerous debates regarding the
role
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of the
sports
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sports
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role
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among
individuals
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. It is argued by several
people
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that
sports
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are just for filling the free
time
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. Meanwhile, others opine that
sports
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in the advancement of the community take an important
role
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. In
this
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particular essay, these views will be discussed.
To begin
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with,
sports
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are an activity option for some
people
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in fulfilling their leisure
time
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. It is believed by
individuals
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that doing
sports
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can give amusement and a good feeling in their free
time
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.
However
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, they feel that
sports
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are nothing more than fulfilling free
time
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. In fact, sometimes
sports
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can have a negative side to
people
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. To illustrate, when
individuals
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are doing some
sports
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during the day for a long
time
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, they will procrastinate. That,
it
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apply
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can affect their performances at work or school since their focus is only on
sports
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.
On the other hand
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,
sports
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are argued by some
individuals
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that they play a crucial
role
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in the development of the community. In fact,
sports
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need to involve several players because most of the
sports
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in the world are teamwork games, or at least there are two
people
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competing with each other in the
sports
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game.
Hence
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, from that situation,
people
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can build a relationship with others even though they need to compete with them as a rival in the game.
This
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relationship is able to develop society in terms of networking.
In addition
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, it can affect their teamwork ability which will be used when they are in the professional world. In conclusion,
while
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sports
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play a crucial
role
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in the midst of society,
sports
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are nothing more than an activity in
the
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their
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free
time
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that
sports
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can build teamwork and relationship ability among
individuals
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that will help society in developing their community.
However
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,
people
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still need to focus on their responsibility which means
people
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are suggested to do
sports
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in their leisure
time
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only with a certain schedule.
Submitted by zakiyaartanti19 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing both views on the role of sports in society. However, it lacks a clear opinion and fails to fully develop the ideas. The arguments are not well-balanced.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a basic logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. The essay lacks clear transitions between ideas, resulting in a lack of coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social fabric
  • fostering
  • community spirit
  • health and wellness
  • national pride
  • leisure activity
  • entertainment
  • unwind
  • economic impact
  • generating jobs
  • boosting tourism
  • stimulating local economies
  • negative aspects
  • risk of injuries
  • pressure on young athletes
  • doping
  • corruption
  • essential societal component
  • responsible management
  • promoting
  • significant
  • merely
  • contributing
  • progress
  • acknowledging
  • value
  • emphasizing
  • balance
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