Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#say #sports #role #society #leisure #activity

There are numerous debates regarding the

role

of the

sports

role

among

individuals

. It is argued by several

people

that

sports

are just for filling the free

time

. Meanwhile, others opine that

sports

in the advancement of the community take an important

role

. In

this

particular essay, these views will be discussed.

To begin

with,

sports

are an activity option for some

people

in fulfilling their leisure

time

. It is believed by

individuals

that doing

sports

can give amusement and a good feeling in their free

time

However

, they feel that

sports

are nothing more than fulfilling free

time

. In fact, sometimes

sports

can have a negative side to

people

. To illustrate, when

individuals

are doing some

sports

during the day for a long

time

, they will procrastinate. That,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can affect their performances at work or school since their focus is only on

sports

On the other hand

sports

are argued by some

individuals

that they play a crucial

role

in the development of the community. In fact,

sports

need to involve several players because most of the

sports

in the world are teamwork games, or at least there are two

people

competing with each other in the

sports

game.

Hence

, from that situation,

people

can build a relationship with others even though they need to compete with them as a rival in the game.

This

relationship is able to develop society in terms of networking.

In addition

, it can affect their teamwork ability which will be used when they are in the professional world. In conclusion,

while

sports

play a crucial

role

in the midst of society,

sports

are nothing more than an activity in

the

Change the word

their

show examples

free

time

Therefore

, I believe that

sports

can build teamwork and relationship ability among

individuals

that will help society in developing their community.

However

people

still need to focus on their responsibility which means

people

are suggested to do

sports

in their leisure

time

only with a certain schedule.

Submitted by zakiyaartanti19 on Mon Sep 25 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing both views on the role of sports in society. However, it lacks a clear opinion and fails to fully develop the ideas. The arguments are not well-balanced.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a basic logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. The essay lacks clear transitions between ideas, resulting in a lack of coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

social fabric
fostering
community spirit
health and wellness
national pride
leisure activity
entertainment
unwind
economic impact
generating jobs
boosting tourism
stimulating local economies
negative aspects
risk of injuries
pressure on young athletes
doping
corruption
essential societal component
responsible management
promoting
significant
merely
contributing
progress
acknowledging
value
emphasizing
balance

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Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

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Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/helath club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at a primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages??