5.The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #games #devices #individuals #society

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Since the advent of gadgets

such

as smartphones and tablets, which are primarily used for entertainment purposes, there has been a debate regarding their impact on individuals and society at large. I believe that handheld

devices

can be detrimental to

people

because they may cause health deterioration and affect the efficiency of employees

due to

addiction to smartphones.

To begin

with, the rise in average screen time - the median amount of time spent in front of screens per individual - has led to a prevalence of eye problems.

This

was concluded by research conducted by NHS, which states that the share of

people

with vision deterioration in 2015 increased by 60% compared to 2005.

Additionally

this

investigation found a direct correlation between the mean screen time of individuals and the percentage of

people

with vision deterioration.

Therefore

devices

can be considered harmful.

Furthermore

, the availability of entertainment on smartphones and other portable gadgets has provided an opportunity for their increased usage compared to other sources of entertainment

such

as TV.

Consequently

, some

people

become addicted, leading to lower efficiency as workers can be easily distracted. The recent research from the University of East Anglia, which was released in 2018, states that employees can waste up to two hours daily

due to

messaging and social media apps.

Therefore

, portable

devices

seem to be detrimental. In light of the thoughts elaborated upon, I would like

to conclude

that handheld

devices

are harmful to citizens because they promote health issues and reduce

people

's work capacity

due to

distractions caused by phones and other gadgets.

Submitted by y2083749065 on Mon Sep 25 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
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meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

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