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Band 3.5

How much time do you spend on watching news on Facebook? Do you think it is beneficial to do that?

#time #news #facebook
-In the past, I spent around 3 to 4 hours
on
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apply
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wathching
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watching
 news on
Facebook
 (and Youtube
also
). I thought it is
usefull
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useful
 and
convinience
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convenient
 to update information and trend timely. But I realized that I wasted
much
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a lot of
show examples
time
to
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on
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 it
instead
 I can use
this
time
 to read
book
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books
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 or do
excercise
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exercise
. - Now, I just
spent
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spend
show examples
 around 30 mins or an hour
to surf
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surfing
show examples
Facebook
. I feel that I have more free and
have
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apply
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more
enegy
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energy
 to
focuss
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focus
 on
other important target
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another important target
other important targets
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such
 as
reading
Add an article
a reading
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book
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books
show examples
, self-learning,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
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language
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languages
show examples
 and
reflect
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reflecting
show examples
. -
Facebook
 is very
usefull
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useful
 and
convinience
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convenient
 if we know how to use and control the
time
 we spend
for
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on
show examples
 it.
Facebook
 is a tool which
help
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helps
show examples
 us connect to other easily and fast. We
also
 update new
trend
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trends
show examples
,
event
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events
show examples
,
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and problem
show examples
problem
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problems
show examples
 around you
promplty
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promptly
 just by a touch. But it
also
occupi
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occupies
occupy
 a lot of your
time
. To the point where you become addicted and dependent on it. It is very
harmfull
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harmful
. You don’t have
time
 and concentration for studying, working or family and
other
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others
show examples
. You will be selfish and grow up your ego through comments and posts on
Facebook
. You will be forgotten how to connect, make
acquaintance
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acquaintances
show examples
 and communicate with others in real life.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion on whether watching news on Facebook is beneficial or not.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Add a more detailed conclusion to summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transition and flow between ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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