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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Virtual reality be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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With the advancement of technology, the invention of virtual reality has proven advantageous across various sectors, including the field of mental health therapy. From my perspective,
while
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 there may be possible drawbacks to playing
VR
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games
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 excessively, I strongly believe that
this
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 technology can potentially benefit mental health-related issues in a therapeutic setting. On the one hand, virtual reality used as
games
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 can make individuals addicted and isolated.
For example
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, a Japanese survey revealed that nearly 15% of
VR
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 game participants in the experiment were so addicted to the
games
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 that they refused to leave their houses and interact with real people in society.
In other words
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,
VR
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 provides them with a fictitious world to fulfil their desire and alleviate stress.
Consequently
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, those
VR
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 users may be isolated from others and become less focused in the real world, limiting their chances to fully socialize with others, and
therefore
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 harming their mental well-being.
On the other hand
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,
VR
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 can provide a calming and stress-free environment for users, positively impacting their mental state.
For instance
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, there are numerous ongoing experiments that have proven to be effective for therapeutic behaviour issues.
VR
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-related programs teach patients who suffer from depression how to make strategies to overcome real-life challenges and how to handle anxiety correctly.
Furthermore
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, virtual scenarios can provide relaxing and calming experiences through meditation programs, reducing the
overall
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 pressure on participants. In conclusion, despite the fact that excessive use of
VR
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games
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 may possibly isolate people and lead to social disconnection, it is essential for society to recognize
VR
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’s advantages in therapeutic treatments, as it greatly helps tackle depression and stress.
Hence
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, I believe that the benefits outweigh the potential disadvantages.

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task response
Ensure that each body paragraph directly relates to the overall argument and provides evidence to support the position taken on the given topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional words and phrases to create a seamless flow of ideas and concepts throughout the essay. Ensure that the introduction introduces the main points of the essay, and the conclusion summarizes the key arguments.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions to enhance the depth and clarity of the essay.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures, and ensure that sentences are accurately structured and punctuation is used effectively to convey ideas clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive environments
  • anxiety
  • PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
  • phobia
  • exposure therapy
  • controlled setting
  • desensitization
  • social anxiety
  • stress reduction
  • real-time monitoring
  • therapeutic interventions
  • mental health treatments
  • digital divide
  • accessibility
  • cost-effectiveness
  • innovative solutions
  • face-to-face interactions
  • traditional therapeutic settings
  • gradual confrontation
  • calming environments
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