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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The government should reduce the budget on the arts and spend more funds on education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #budget #arts #funds #education
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Some people are of the opinion that the government should increase their
budget
 for
education
 and decrease it for entertainment. I partly agree and disagree with
this
 statement. The following essay will outline the reasons why I feel that both academia and the arts are equally important and thereby should share an equal
budget
.
To begin
 with,
education
 is the key to developing a nation. The reason why I partly agree with their statement is because of the lack of importance the authorities usually give to the academia of the country.
For instance
, public schools in Bangladesh rarely take
children
 out on field trips
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or foreign visits or provide quality reading materials to their students. Despite teachers giving their best efforts to accommodate a good learning environment, they are incapable of doing
further
as a result
 of low funding. The government certainly need to invest more in
children
 through their
education
 as the next leaders of the nation will be shaped by
education
, from the new generation.
On the other hand
, it would be unfair to argue that
education
 is everything.
As a consequence
, I
also
 partly disagree with
this
 statement because art equals creativity and creativity is
also
 important for
children
. Employers in a job interview
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example, will often select the candidate with the most versatile qualities and experiences.
In other words
,
children
 should be taught to think outside of academia by honing other skills should they want to be truly successful in life.
For
this
 reason, I believe that different forms of entertainment
such
 as movies, painting, theatre, extracurriculars etc will make the youth more meaningful creative and ready for the future.
Thus
, creative knowledge is as important, if not more, than theoretical knowledge.
To conclude
, there are merits and demerits to the claim that the government should lower their
budget
 for arts and increase it for
education
instead
.
Although
,
this
 may result in a better academic environment for the youth; it will severely impact their creativity skills. Rather, I recommend that the
budget
 be distributed in equal portions for both subjects.
Submitted by Mazam on

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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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