You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to adk your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • Explain why you want to take time off work • Give details of the amount of time you need • Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
letter to ask permission for 10
days
. Because I am going to travel to Dubai with my family to celebrate my
mother
's birthday. My
mother
always dreamed of travelling and celebrating her birthday in Dubai. Our family knew about that,
therefore
we decided to plan
this
travel several months ago . My
mother
was thrilled after hearing
this
news. My
mother
's birthday is on
10th
Correct article usage
the 10th
show examples
of June. We are going to fly on
9th
Correct article usage
the 9th
show examples
of June and we
planned
Wrong verb form
plan
show examples
to return 20th of June.
Therefore
I want to take time off from
work
for
10days
Correct your spelling
10 days
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
we want to celebrate her special day in Burj khalifa and explore other popular attractions in the city within 10
days
.
While
I planning the travel I
also
thought about my
work
. I asked my colleague Phoebe about taking over my
work
's responsibility for 10
days
and she does not mind it. So I want to tell you that if I take time off
work
, Phoebe will take over my
work
for me temporarily. I look forward
your
Change preposition
to your
show examples
answer , Yours faithfully Marjona.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
You've done well with the structure of your letter, having a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Yet, to enhance coherence, try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Transition words like 'additionally', 'furthermore', or 'consequently' can help create a more seamless flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent with the level of formality throughout the letter. The greeting 'Dear Sir or Madam' is formal, but the casual phrase 'I look forward your answer' at the end slightly diminishes this tone. A more suitable closing could be 'I look forward to your response'.
task achievement
Your letter comprehensively addresses all the given tasks, explaining the reason for your leave, specifying the duration, and suggesting a solution for your absence. To further improve, consider providing more detail on how your colleague Phoebe can specifically handle your responsibilities, giving the manager more assurance of your planning.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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