It is often argued that it is crucial for individuals to be tidy in their workplace and house, and everything should be organized in these places. I think it is a correct belief, and I advocate this opinion. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my point of view.

Many arguments say that it is crucial for individuals to sort out their workplaces and houses. I agree with the following statement. I think that cleaning up workplaces and houses can be very beneficial to certain individuals.
This
essay will showcase the advantages and my personal opinion on organizing
people
's surroundings. First of all, having a tidy workplace means having a better environment to work with. Studies show that having an uncluttered workplace can make an individual more motivated to work.
For instance
, when someone feels demotivated to study or work they would most likely clean up their workplace or studyplace.
This
makes them a lot more motivated and determined to finish their assignments.
Furthermore
, not only does being tidy make us more determined and motivated, but
people
who sterilize their offices tend to be a lot more joyful. Researches show that
people
who are organized tend to have better mental health than those who do not.
For example
, someone who sterilizes their office would be more ecstatic.
This
is because organized space makes a person less stressed and can make them more focused.
In contrast
, those who do not arrange their surroundings tend to be more stressed, and sometimes the possibility of them having a mental disorder is high. To sum it up, organizing our environment can be very advantageous to a lot of
people
. There are examples
such
as being more motivated, creating less stress, having better mental health, and many more.
Hence
,
that is
the reason why I agree with
this
statement.
Submitted by nafisa.sputri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You've provided a good response to the task, and your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive. However, try to use more specific examples to support your arguments. For example, instead of saying 'studies show,' you could mention a particular study or research to add more credibility.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is coherent and logically structured, you may want to work on smoother transitions between your paragraphs. This can help readers follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and well-defined introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are logically structured, and your argument is easy to follow.
task achievement
You've effectively addressed the task and provided a complete response, adequately explaining why tidiness is beneficial.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Productivity
  • Systematic
  • Clarity
  • Distractions
  • Time management
  • Organized
  • Stress reduction
  • Professionalism
  • Health benefits
  • Financial prudence
  • Clutter
  • Relaxation
  • Anxiety
  • Workplace organization
  • Tidiness
  • Mental clutter
  • Career advancement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: