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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems are causing this? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

#parts #world #festivals #celebrations #measures #counter #situation
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It is apparent in a few segments around the globe that the conventional commemorations are dying out gradually. Some causes
such
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 as the economic crisis faced by certain countries could be considered to be prominent
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
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 matter.
Consequently
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, a possible solution through the intervention of the government is given
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, during the recent
past
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,past
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 most of the nations in the world faced detrimental economic challenges which
finally
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 resulted in prompting
people
Use synonyms
 to run a rat race over money to earn their living.
Due to
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this
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 reason,
people
Use synonyms
 have no time to contemplate
on
Change preposition
apply
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the importance of authentic ceremonies.
For instance
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,
due to
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 the
hard hit
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hard-hit
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 financial crisis affected, Sri Lankans had to forgo the Sinhala and Hindu New Year celebrations in 2022.
Hence
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 it is the responsibility of the government to earnestly arrange a set of actions and guidelines to inspire and motivate
people
Use synonyms
 to practice the classic customs and traditions of events
otherwise
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 these will
be vanished
Change to the active voice
vanish
have vanished
show examples
 from the respective cultures.
For example
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, holidays are declared by the state for certain customary festivals making room for
people
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 to get involved in their believed rituals so that they could easily be preserved to the next generation. In conclusion, the
authorities led
Add a hyphen
authorities-led
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 principles could be viewed as a realistic remedy to avoid
melting
Correct article usage
the melting
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 of traditional occasions in different corners of the earth.
Moreover
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, a favourable economic condition created by the states of
handful
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a handful
the handful
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 of countries
,
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apply
show examples
 will result in a better inclination towards merrymaking by
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tnirmani94 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional festivals
  • heritage
  • cultural identity
  • folklore
  • cultural tourism
  • intergenerational
  • homogenization
  • commercialization
  • intangible cultural heritage
  • community engagement
  • awareness
  • revitalize
  • cultural diversity
  • educational programs
  • governmental support
  • logistical support
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