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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
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Culture
Use synonyms
 is an essential aspect of any society. It is the
way
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 of life of a group of people. It is the
way
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 of life of a group of people, including their beliefs, customs and
tradition
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traditions
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. Some people believe that
culture
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 will be ruined if it
used
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is used
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 to earn
tourism
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 revenue,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 think that
tourism
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 is the only
way
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 of protecting a
culture
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my opinion. On the one
hand
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,hand
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 those
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 argue that
culture
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 will be ruined if it
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 to earn
tourism
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 revenue believe that
tourism
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 can lead to the commercialization of
culture
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. They argue that when
culture
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 is used to attract
tourists
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 , it loses its authenticity and
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 a commodity.
For example
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, in some
countries
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,countries
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 traditional dances and music are performed for
tourists
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, but they
ae
Correct your spelling
are
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 not performed in the same ways that they could be for the locals.
This
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 can lead to a loss of cultural identity and can be seen as a form
cultural
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of cultural
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 exploitation.
On the other hand
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, those who believe that
tourism
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 is the only
way
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 of protecting a
culture
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 argue that
tourism
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 can help to preserve cultural heritage. They argue that when
tourists
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 visit a country they are exposed to the local
culture
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, which can help to raise awareness about the importance of
reserving
Correct your spelling
preserving
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 cultural heritage.
For example
Linking Words
, in some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
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tourists
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 are taken to visit historical sites and museums, which can help to preserve these sites for future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
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. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have valid points.
While
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 it is true that
tourism
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 can lead to the commercialization of
culture
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, it is
also
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 true that
tourism
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 can help to preserve cultural heritage.
Therefore
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 I believe that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 important to strike a balance between the two.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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