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Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
Culture
 is an essential aspect of any society. It is the
way
 of life of a group of people. It is the
way
 of life of a group of people, including their beliefs, customs and
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
. Some people believe that
culture
 will be ruined if it
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 to earn
tourism
 revenue,
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think that
tourism
 is the only
way
 of protecting a
culture
.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my opinion. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 those
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 argue that
culture
 will be ruined if it
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 to earn
tourism
 revenue believe that
tourism
 can lead to the commercialization of
culture
. They argue that when
culture
 is used to attract
tourists
 , it loses its authenticity and
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 a commodity.
For example
, in some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 traditional dances and music are performed for
tourists
, but they
ae
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
 not performed in the same ways that they could be for the locals.
This
 can lead to a loss of cultural identity and can be seen as a form
cultural
Change preposition
of cultural
show examples
 exploitation.
On the other hand
, those who believe that
tourism
 is the only
way
 of protecting a
culture
 argue that
tourism
 can help to preserve cultural heritage. They argue that when
tourists
 visit a country they are exposed to the local
culture
, which can help to raise awareness about the importance of
reserving
Correct your spelling
preserving
show examples
 cultural heritage.
For example
, in some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
tourists
 are taken to visit historical sites and museums, which can help to preserve these sites for future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have valid points.
While
 it is true that
tourism
 can lead to the commercialization of
culture
, it is
also
 true that
tourism
 can help to preserve cultural heritage.
Therefore
 I believe that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 important to strike a balance between the two.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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