IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protect culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
Culture
 is an essential aspect of any society. It is the way of life of a group of people, including their beliefs, customs, and traditions. Some people believe that
culture
 will be ruined if it is used to earn
tourism
 revenue,
while
 others consider that
tourism
 is the only way of protecting a
culture
.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my opinion. It can be seen that many myths are modified for commercialisation . In Dong Nai , the Nam Cat Tien National Park has a negative effect on creature habitats because of the large number of visitors.
Moreover
, during the peak season , the massive influx of travellers from many places damages cultural heritage sites irreversibly. When visiting some monuments or statues, some sightseer carves their names on rocks for memories. It will vandalize ancient monuments
as well as
 cause irreparable damage.
However
, opponents of the point outlined above believe that the industrializing of
tourism
 will have a detrimental effect on the natural sceneries of these cultural attractions.
In other words
, they assert that the massive influx of tourists will result in the loss of the beauty of nature because of the various types of pollution.
This
 may be a valid point, but the government can reduce the consequences of mass
tourism
 to these places by implementing an incentive scheme
such
 as strict punishments for those who do not follow the rules of protecting cultural heritage. In my opinion,
while
 there are valid concerns about the potential negative impact of
tourism
 on
culture
, it is essential to strike a balance between preservation and economic development. Sustainable
tourism
 practices that prioritize cultural authenticity and environmental conservation can help mitigate the risks associated with cultural commodification. By promoting responsible
tourism
 and engaging local communities in decision-making processes, we can ensure that cultural heritage is protected
while
also
 reaping the benefits of
tourism
. In conclusion,
this
 essay discussed the reasons why travelling mitigates any country's
culture
.
In addition
,
this
 essay
also
 discussed that exploration is helpful. In my opinion, preserving the customs is more effective because it represents the country's image.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: