Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #culture #tourism #revenue

Nowadays,

one

thing can be seen that many

heritage

sites have turned into tourist attractions.Having some debate related to the protection of the places where more

people

come has the same meaning that more destruction will appear.

In contrast

, when the cultures become well-known,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will be

more safety

Correct word choice

safe

show examples

This

essay below shows both sides and gives individual about

this

problem With the first statement,

one

thing can

know

Wrong verb form

be known

show examples

clearly is anything in the world is affected by time so it needs to

maintain

Wrong verb form

be maintained

show examples

to survive, when

one

place becomes popular, it will be given more attention by

people

For example

, a tower was built

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many centuries ago,

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

status is

very

Add an article

a very

the very

show examples

bad bow and

predict

Wrong verb form

predicted

show examples

to destroy

Correct pronoun usage

it in

show examples

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

years, it

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

prepair

Correct your spelling

repair

prepare

but if nobody

care

Change the verb form

cares

show examples

about

this

due to

the low advantages it

bringing

Wrong verb form

brings

show examples

, the culture will

dissapear

Correct your spelling

disappear

.But when it

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

merit on investors, they will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

do anything to keep that.

Moreover

, when the

heritage

become

Wrong verb form

becomes

show examples

famous, when the bad harmful

affect

Correct your spelling

effects

show examples

this

, some criticise come from

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

will send to

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

, it was a big pressure and they must take some actions to make it great again.

Turn

Wrong verb form

Turning

show examples

second

Change the article

the second

show examples

thesis,

people

will destroy the cultures.

First,

one

factor that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is wrong when think anybody

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

the awareness, we can easily

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

see many graphic

paints

Replace the word

painted

show examples

on the wall

Change preposition

apply

show examples

everywhere, so that when

heritage

sites are opened for tourist, many harmful

action

Change to a plural noun

actions

show examples

can happen and the cultures will be lost

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

value.

In addition

, when tourist travel to

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

places, they bring plastic

such

as glass, bowl, etc,... and throw it unwittingly, trash

apear

Correct your spelling

appears

and the building is

poluted

Correct your spelling

polluted

,in

short

Add an article

the short

a short

show examples

time it

turn

Change the verb form

turns

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

useless

Correct article usage

a useless

show examples

place and nobody want to come. In my opinion, the arts must be opened to

people

due to

the knowledge

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

bring.We can know more about how our

ancestor

Fix the agreement mistake

ancestors

show examples

live

Wrong verb form

lived

show examples

what

Correct word choice

and what

show examples

traditional

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

country

attend

Wrong verb form

attended

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

.But when to do that, we need the strict rule, well fine when illegal actions are taken and the culture will

brought

Change the verb form

bring

be brought

show examples

more income to

Add an article

the

show examples

location

Thus

heritage

should be opened to become popular rather than do not care about

this

and let it

dissapear

Correct your spelling

disappear

from the world.The things

people

need

Fix the infinitive

to do

show examples

is maintain

Correct your spelling

usually

ussually

Correct your spelling

usually

,protect it by

Correct your spelling

articles

articals

Correct your spelling

articles

, improve awareness

Mon Sep 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
53Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

373 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
The number of children that read for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more?
Reading is one of the most popular hobbies all over the world, and it has always been because it can give us the education, a fun, it supports our imagination, and improves our communication skills since childhood.
4.5
band
In many countries, the traditional family structure is changing, and an increasing number of children are being raised by single parents or by grandparents. Discuss the possible reasons for this trend and its potential consequences on society. Support your answer with relevant examples and evidence from your own experience or knowledge.
It is argued that in many nations, more and more children are raised by single parents or by grandparents. This essay would argue that the main reason for this development is that people give more importance to themselves and women are able to go out and look for a job.
7
band
Some people believe that the good leaders are born, whereas others hold the opinion that the leadership qualities could be obtained during the life. Who represents the good leader quality indeed?
Leadership skills have long held a fascinating sway over scientists, psychologists and curious minds all over the world for centuries. Although good leaders may have many intrinsic traits that cannot be taught, there is plenty of evidence suggesting that people can hone their leadership qualities during their lives.
5.5
band
All cars that burns fossil fuels should be banned and electric car should replace them. Do you agree or disagree
In the modern world, the energy car is increasing due to many people think that these cars are good for environment. I agree that energy cars should replace normal cars. This essay will discuss why many people need to use energy cars from my point of view and will give reasons from my experiences.
6.5
band
In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree?
In general a group of people believe criminal activities committed by a minor have increased in the society and they should be punished equally as an adult would be punished. Would this help in reducing the crime rate in a society? In my opinion, I would agree with the statement given above.

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The number of children that read for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more?

Some people believe that the good leaders are born, whereas others hold the opinion that the leadership qualities could be obtained during the life. Who represents the good leader quality indeed?

All cars that burns fossil fuels should be banned and electric car should replace them. Do you agree or disagree

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree?