IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern lifestyle. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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The need for processed
food
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 has increased in daily life and a lot of
people
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 who suffer from a lack of
time
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 tend to use these types of
food
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. There are some benefits as saving
time
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 and not losing energy
while
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 there are some drawbacks
such
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 as being obese and suffering from indigestion problems which outweigh the advantages. First of all, The main advantage of consuming convenience
food
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 is saving
time
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. Most
people
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 after work can not manage
time
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 for their own personal lives and spend more
time
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 cooking,
however
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, buying precooked meals saves
time
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 of
people
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.
Secondly
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,
people
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 do not lose their energy and use
this
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 for other work.
For example
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,
people
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 can have some hobbies
such
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 as painting, riding bikes, and going to the gym
instead
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 of cooking.
Thus
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, many
people
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 prefer to eat fast
food
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.
Although
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 there are some positive sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using takeaway
food
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, the negative sides of
this
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 are so dangerous. The composition of processed
food
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 is unknown, a lot of sugar, palm oil, and some
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
 ingredients added to processed
food
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 can bring about an increase in the number of obese
people
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.
Additionally
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, these kinds of
food
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 do not carry some vitamins important for the human body and
people
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 can face indigestion problems more often.
For instance
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, fast
food
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 is frequently consumed by
people
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 who have a sedentary lifestyle and eat a lot but do not exercise.
Therefore
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, these
people
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 like to consume junk
food
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 and are not healthy.
To conclude
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, convenience
food
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 is preferable to
people
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 owing to saving
time
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 and energy. In spite of the advantages of these types of
food
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, it is more disadvantageous because precooked
food
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 leads to indigestion problems and obesity.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more present and clearly stated. The essay lacks a clear logical structure and needs more cohesive devices to connect ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a relevant but somewhat incomplete response to the task. Additional details and examples could further support the ideas presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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