14.Research shows that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, advertising for certain food products should be banned, in the same way as cigarette advertising is banned in many countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that eating too much is as dangerous as smoking, so announcements about determined
food
should be prohibited. This
essay completely disagrees with that statement because eating excess of any type of food
is harmful to the body and publicity can allow more people
to have a balanced diet
.
Eating too much, no matter what type of food
will damage people
’s bodies. This
is because everyone has a limit of food
that they can ingest, even eating healthy food
such
as vegetables and fruits can be damaging too. If someone eats more than they really can, it will cause stomachache, vomiting or fever, which after going to the hospital can be easily solved. Moreover
, eating too much fast food
,
will cause obesity or diabetes, Remove the comma
apply
this
can be cured by eating medicines and having an equilibrated diet
. On the other hand
, smoking can damage a person’s lungs or cause cancer, which these are very difficult to heal. Recent research concluded that of people
who suffer health problems caused by a bad diet
, 90% of individuals are successfully treated, while
the other 10% fail because they do not follow the instructions of the doctors or are very old people
.
Banning food
announcements will not help people
to eat healthier. Furthermore
is because people
won’t know that it is prohibited because they are bad for their health, and they will continue eating in the same way. Instead
of banning, it will be better to upload images and videos about how important it is to maintain a balanced diet
, how to do it, and the advantages that it has, so more people
will be aware of their diet
to have better well-being. For instance
, in Europe, there are several advertisements about the quantity of food
and the type of food
that people
need to eat so they have an equilibrated diet
and well-being. This
helped to reduce the cases of diabetes and obesity in Europe.
In conclusion, all types of food
should be eaten carefully not eaten too much, and publicity about food
should not be blocked, instead
using it to remind people
to have a balanced diet
.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion overall. There is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay, and the ideas are logically connected. However, you could improve the introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful and to better frame your argument.
task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task and effectively presents relevant ideas. Your arguments are well-developed and supported with specific examples. However, there is room for improvement in the introduction and conclusion to fully address the task statement and clearly express your position.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?