IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many people believe that cooking is an essential life skill and should be taught to boys and girls in schools. Others disagree and believe it is a waste of school time. To what extent do you agree?

#people #life #skill #boys #girls #schools #waste #school #time
Nowadays people like to order
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 not cooking by themselves.
Especially the
Rephrase
The
show examples
 most of them prefer fast
food
 much more
such
 as
mcdonalds
Change noun form
McDonald's
show examples
 or
kfc
Correct your spelling
KFC
show examples
, dominos etc. They think that making
food
 is
really
Add an article
a really
show examples
 difficult process.
The modern
Correct article usage
Modern
show examples
 parents think that cooking isn'
t
 essential for
children
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the parents don'
t
 know if their
children
 can cook the meal they will be more independent and
cabable
Correct your spelling
capable
 than other
children
 even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults, so teaching cooking
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 to
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 is so necessary for their lives.
Firstly
 when
children
 return
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home they cannot find homemade
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
. The
contemperary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 parents work and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of them don'
t
 have enough time to cook
Add an article
a meal
show examples
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 for their
children
.
Then
children
 were forced to eat junk or fast
food
.
This
 affects their health so badly. If the
children
 can learn cooking
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 when they come back from
school
 they can make
food
 for
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.
Secondly
 the subjects of
school
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 boring or exhausting for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students. When they cannot find interesting
activty
Correct your spelling
activity
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
 they want to leave
school
 as soon as possible.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 it influences their motivation and success in education. Even if they have cooking
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 in the class they can spend interesting time in the
school
 and it will affect their motivation
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 learning. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 cooking
skill
 is
invalubale
Correct your spelling
invaluable
 for humans. If we don'
t
 eat homemade
food
 it will
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 our health.
That is
 why all people
as well as
children
 must know how to cook.
Therefore
 cooking
skill
 should be
thought
Verb problem
taught
show examples
 to
children
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
.
Submitted by zuleykhaaliyeva223 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: