Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
While
some people argue that children
shouldn't use their mobile phones
in school
, others think that usage of mobile phone
should be free. Fix the agreement mistake
phones
This
essay will discuss both side
of the argument and give my opinion Change to a plural noun
sides
why
mobile Change preposition
on why
phones
should be banned for
improve Change preposition
to
focus
and bring success in
educational life.
On the one hand, parents don't want to send their Change preposition
to
children
to school
with electronic devices for
improve Change preposition
to
child's
social skills. Apart from educational parts, schools are one of the most important places for Correct pronoun usage
their child's
develop
Change the verb form
developing
child's
social skills, Correct article usage
a child's
such
as empathy, friendship, and trust, during their break. However
, when they have a mobile phone, they isolate themself from environment
and spend Add an article
the environment
time
on social media during free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
time
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
cause
loose interaction with their colleagues.
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
On the other hand
, parents want to reach their children
directley
whenever they want, especially in Correct your spelling
directly
emergency
Add an article
an emergency
situation
. Fix the agreement mistake
situations
Childs
Correct your spelling
Children
whoes
go to middle and primary Correct your spelling
who
school
don't feel comfortable to speak
about money and health issues with their friends or teachers. When they face with Change the verb form
speaking
diffucult conditons
in Correct your spelling
difficult conditions
school
, for example
, lost
their money or Wrong verb form
losing
forget
about their pills, they want to communicate with their parents. For that reason, families want to mobile devices as Wrong verb form
forgetting
a
information channel.
In my opinion, mobile Change the article
an
phones
main reason to distrupt
people's Correct your spelling
disrupt
distrust
focus
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
cause
Wrong verb form
causing
fail
in their Replace the word
failure
carier
later on. Correct your spelling
careers
Children
should learn to stay in
Change preposition
focused
focus
for long hours Change preposition
at in
in
early Correct your spelling
an
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
otherwise
it is hard to build that skill after high school
and mobile phones
major
Add a missing verb
are major
player
in Fix the agreement mistake
players
focus
distraction.
In conlusion
,Correct your spelling
conclusion
this
essay argued
Wrong verb form
argues
that
idea of restriction of mobile phone usage during Correct determiner usage
the
school
time
. In my view, all electronic devices included
Wrong verb form
including
phones
should be banned during school
time
for
Change preposition
to
create
people Verb problem
give
that
ability to work for long hours and achieve Correct determiner usage
the
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
career
.Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Submitted by airbender on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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