Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While
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some people argue that
children
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shouldn't use their mobile
phones
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in
school
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, others think that usage of mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
should be free.
This
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essay will discuss both
side
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sides
show examples
of the argument and give my opinion
why
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on why
show examples
mobile
phones
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should be banned
for
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to
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improve
focus
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and bring success
in
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to
show examples
educational life. On the one hand, parents don't want to send their
children
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to
school
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with electronic devices
for
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to
show examples
improve
child's
Correct pronoun usage
their child's
show examples
social skills. Apart from educational parts, schools are one of the most important places for
develop
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developing
show examples
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
social skills,
such
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as empathy, friendship, and trust, during their break.
However
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, when they have a mobile phone, they isolate themself from
environment
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the environment
show examples
and spend
time
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on social media during
free
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their free
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time
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
loose interaction with their colleagues.
On the other hand
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, parents want to reach their
children
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directley
Correct your spelling
directly
whenever they want, especially in
emergency
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an emergency
show examples
situation
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situations
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.
Childs
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Children
show examples
whoes
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who
go to middle and primary
school
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don't feel comfortable
to speak
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speaking
show examples
about money and health issues with their friends or teachers. When they face with
diffucult conditons
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difficult conditions
in
school
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,
for example
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,
lost
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losing
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their money or
forget
Wrong verb form
forgetting
show examples
about their pills, they want to communicate with their parents. For that reason, families want to mobile devices as
a
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an
show examples
information channel. In my opinion, mobile
phones
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main reason to
distrupt
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disrupt
distrust
people's
focus
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cause
Wrong verb form
causing
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fail
Replace the word
failure
show examples
in their
carier
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careers
later on.
Children
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should learn to stay
in
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focused
show examples
focus
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for long hours
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at in
show examples
in
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an
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early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
otherwise
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it is hard to build that skill after high
school
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and mobile
phones
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major
Add a missing verb
are major
show examples
player
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players
show examples
in
focus
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distraction. In
conlusion
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conclusion
,
this
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essay
argued
Wrong verb form
argues
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
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idea of restriction of mobile phone usage during
school
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time
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. In my view, all electronic devices
included
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including
show examples
phones
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should be banned during
school
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time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
create
Verb problem
give
show examples
people
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
ability to work for long hours and achieve
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by airbender on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Minimize
  • Distractions
  • Prohibit
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate
  • Encourage
  • Social interaction
  • Educational apps
  • Safety tool
  • Emergencies
  • Responsible use
  • Balanced approach
  • Restrictions
What to do next:
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