Many countries aim to improve their living standards by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #aim #standards #development #values

Economic development has an effect on improving the quality of life in many countries, it is argued that

this

development may affect society in a negative way. I believe that it improves the

overall

living standards. In

this

,essay I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of

this

argument. There are several advantages of economic expansion, first of all, wealthy societies concentrate on developing their infrastructures by providing different ways of transport.

For example

, the availability of the underground, and different routes of buses and trains would facilitate the movements of the citizens and help them save time and money.

Moreover

this

would save the consumption of fuel and indirectly would improve the environment.

Furthermore

, these communities concentrate the most on education by providing the basic needs of the students like free schooling, and transportation and concentrating on smart pupil's advancement.

As a result

this

could improve culture and help to build a country with sold standards.

On the other hand

, there are disadvantages to the society in developed countries, many people could rely on the government to provide their basic life needs.

However

this

would result in building a dependent nonproductive society that adds more pressure to the country rather than building it.

Moreover

, teenage’ addiction is a serious problem that faces most societies these days. One of the reasons for

this

trend is the availability of money that would increase the purchases of drugs and alcohol among young people. I believe that

this

would be controlled by parents as well. In conclusion, I believe that improving the economy of people would have a great benefit on

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

societies.

While

there are some disadvantages of

this

development that affect the younger and add pressure to the countries by increasing benefits. I believe that fixing the infrastructure and education is more important.

Submitted by liasmart41 on Mon Sep 25 2023

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task response

The essay demonstrates some understanding of the task with relevant examples and arguments. However, it lacks clear development of ideas and loses focus at times.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has an introduction and conclusion, but they are not well developed. The logical structure is somewhat maintained, but the supporting points lack coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many countries aim to improve their living standards by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How do we deal with those causes?

students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. what are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people ate only the local food produced by farmers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?