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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
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As the world is developing rapidly and with it serious cultural problems, the impact of
tourism
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 on
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 is a controversial issue. Many
people
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 believe that
culture
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 will be ruined if it is used to earn
tourism
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 revenue, but others consider that
tourism
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 is the only
way
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 of protecting a
culture
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. these two views should be analyzed with thoughts. It isn't negative that
tourism
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 has many positive impacts on
culture
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. When visitors visit a certain location, they will learn about history, discover specialities and especially like to admire. when they get home , they will share their experiences and feelings about that place, which
also
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 helps to promote that
culture
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 and attract more potential tourists . It is possible to argue that the best
way
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 to prevent
culture
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one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is to spread it to the whole world.
Therefore
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culture
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 can be protected and passed down to the next generation.
Moreover
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, from the host,
tourism
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 can help create more investment opportunities,create more jobs, and improve the facilities and
better
Correct word choice
apply
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living standards of the local
people
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.
Therefore
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, in each cultural performance, we can see the sacred spirit of each country. For those reasons, some
people
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 feel angry when traditional activities are used as a good to sell for money.
On the other hand
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, I believe commercials should be considered as the only
way
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 to protect the
culture
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. There are two reasons why we should follow
this
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way
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.
First,
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cultural activity only can survive if it attracts young
people
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 to learn and teach it to the next generations in the future. To attract young
people
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, we should make
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culture
Correct article usage
a culture
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 showing
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a profitable job because no one can do an unpaid job for a long time.
For example
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, in some countries with a famous
culture
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such
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 as China or Japan,
people
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 have to pay a lot of money for a traditional performance. The second reason is that with the revenue from traditional shows, artists can present better performances in order to retain the quality of cultural activities and satisfy the client as well. In short, it is perhaps difficult to decide whether
tourism
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 has a more positive or negative impact on
culture
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. From what was discussed above , I think that with the government's efforts, the benefits of
tourism
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 can outweigh all those negative effects.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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