Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some part of society believes that using
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
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visitor may lead to the devastation of
culture
,
although
, some others
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that, the
tourism
industry could be the only action to look after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
civilization
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I completely agree with the second group of people On the one hand, we have some groups of the public who believe in cultural manipulation by tourists,
such
as the visitors
may
Correct pronoun usage
who may
show examples
devast
Correct your spelling
devastate
the public laws because they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack information about the
country
Change noun form
country's
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rules so,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
brings disorders all over the province.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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their belief is,
when
Correct word choice
that when
show examples
various kinds of the public from all over the world come to the country it may affect the homey’s
culture
use to different kinds of the public with different cultures coming and altering the country’s
culture
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
those who argue that
culture
will be ruined if it
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
to earn
tourism
revenue believe that
tourism
can lead to the commercialice of
culture
they argue that when
culture
is useful to attractive, it loses its.
For example
, in some countries, traditional dances and music are performed the same way as they would be for locals.
This
can lead to a loss of cultural identity and can be seen as a form of
culture
Another point of view, those who believe that
tourism
is the only way of protecting a
culture
agree that can help to preserve cultural heritage they argue that when
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
visit a country they are exposed to the local
culture
, which can help to raise awareness about the importance of preserving. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
some people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
the disadvantages of
tourism
, it is crystal clear that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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