IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for few months of years )for they have time to do other things. Do you the advantage outweigh disadvantages.

#people #jobs #work #months #years #time #advantage
Nowadays , few individuals are opting to join short-term jobs so that they can consume available time in doing certain other activities.
This
 trend is definitely a positive thing, as it keeps a person busy and makes him financially independent, but not without the shortcoming of lack of perfection in anything. To initiate, joining a part-time job inculcates the habit of utilizing the extra time in a constructive manner,and without wandering around .
Hence
, keeping a person away from negative elements of society.
For example
 , As per a survey conducted by Youth for Tomorrow,in The USA, the majority of teenagers who were busy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
making money by doing jobs in the summer holidays were not influenced by drug abuse as compared to their counterparts. So, preserving the valuable population for the growth of a nation. Adding
further
, taking up
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-timetime
Correct your spelling
part-time time
part-time-time
 work enhances the bank balance ,
thus
 making individuals financially sound
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
 those who don't and ignites in them a sense of responsibility towards themselves .
This
 ,in the long term, produces nationals that are workaholics ,
consequently
 , adding to the strength of a country. Because a sensible and accountable person is looked upon as a precious jewel to the growth of any firm.
However
 , Sometimes in order to attain a restricted gain in monetary terms , individuals are found to do
such
 kinds of jobs which do not fit into their criterion ,yet to become independent they would enter into any type of profession.
For example
, A news channel in India circulated the news that 100 students , all of the engineering calibre , were found to be involved in selling Tea at the roadside, losing their potential .
Hence
 ,hampering their personal
as well as
 the country's uprising. To End ,As much as certain professions like cleaning ,freelancing etcetera appeal, success can only be attained by exercising a permanent settlement be it any business or an alluring post in any reputed firm.
Thus
 , in order to curb temporary hurdles do indulge in shorter
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 but don't get stuck there ,keep going and settle for a permanent job.
Submitted by lkapila25 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: