Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for few months of years )for they have time to do other things. Do you the advantage outweigh disadvantages.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days it is becoming popular to
work
temporarily in order to spend the rest of the
time
on other activities. I truly believe that there are more benefits of
this
trend, as individuals do not sacrifice their whole
time
to
work
.
This
essay will explain the reasons for my viewpoint. There are some negative aspects of working for a short period of
time
in a
year
.
Firstly
, when individuals have a permanent job, they can afford to pay bills and financially support their families.
This
means that those who
work
just for a few months per
year
will not have financial stability lacking the ability to assist their families.
Secondly
, working short-term does not provide the person long-lasting positive impact, as it is hard or even impossible to develop professional skills and qualities for a short period of
time
.
For example
, the individual, who wants to be successful in an engineering field, has to improve their professional abilities through professional training and bond with the team which takes at least a
year
.
On the other hand
, there are several convincing benefits to working short-term. The main advantage is that the amount of
time
which is not spent on
work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can be dedicated to the family and recreational activities.
This
explains that spending
time
with relatives and participating in activities
such
as yoga or meditation will improve the quality of life bringing joy.
Additionally
,
this
will prove that money can bring financial stability, but not happiness.
For instance
, in Canada, it has become more popular to
work
temporarily, as it is very beneficial, especially for young married couples.
Hence
, people have
time
to spend
time
with each other, explore the world and learn how to build a family. In conclusion,
although
there are some advantages to working full-
time
every
year
,
this
can turn a person into a hard worker who lacks joy in life. Working temporarily provides
time
to organise the routine of building relationships with your loved ones.
Submitted by innakireeva0101 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more engaging and well-developed. Ensure that the essay addresses the prompt directly and comprehensively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates good logical structure and supported main points. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more impactful and well-developed to enhance the coherence and cohesion.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: