IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way.

#businesses #emphasise #products
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Nowadays, advertising plays a key role in order to promote of the
product
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. It aims to introduce a
customer
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 that products are newer. It is because the
company
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 increases its sales by promoting the same
product
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 in different ways.
This
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 essay will discuss a positive way to choose advertisements to increase sales. In terms of a rise in finances in the business, the
company
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 is looking for many ways to obtain profit from their
customer
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. Financial distress often addresses an issue to find a solution by promoting an existing
product
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instead
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 of launching a new one. The budget cost of reproducing advertising is lower than introducing a new
product
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.
For instance
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, one of the state-owned enterprises in Indonesia is Telkom. The financial statement is almost
loss
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lost
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 every year because of less of
customer
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 are using their
product
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. They initiate by promoting the same
product
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 with different advertisements and inviting influencers and artists as brand ambassadors.
As a result
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, in a short time, they attract more new customers. After that, it can create more money to stabilize their financial distress.
Furthermore
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, there is another reason why the
company
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 initiates the rebranding of the same
product
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. Typically, the
company
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 has a different sense of promoting the
product
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, which is the advertisement doesn't interest people.
As a result
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, they need to rebrand the same products by using
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
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 different ways,
such
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 as implementing funny ads.
For example
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, many advertisements in Thailand get the interest of people. Gaining more customers by implementing a funny ad. Indirectly, it can improve the
financial
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finances
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 of the companies.
To conclude
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, the
company
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's financial conditions address the issues of rebranding the same
product
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. Obtaining a new potential
customer
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 raises sales of the
product
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.
Moreover
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, funny ads make it easy to get customers
interest
Wrong verb form
interested
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 in the products.
Submitted by haloalwan on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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