IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way.

#businesses #emphasise #products
Nowadays, advertising plays a key role in order to promote of the
product
. It aims to introduce a
customer
 that products are newer. It is because the
company
 increases its sales by promoting the same
product
 in different ways.
This
 essay will discuss a positive way to choose advertisements to increase sales. In terms of a rise in finances in the business, the
company
 is looking for many ways to obtain profit from their
customer
. Financial distress often addresses an issue to find a solution by promoting an existing
product
instead
 of launching a new one. The budget cost of reproducing advertising is lower than introducing a new
product
.
For instance
, one of the state-owned enterprises in Indonesia is Telkom. The financial statement is almost
loss
Replace the word
lost
show examples
 every year because of less of
customer
 are using their
product
. They initiate by promoting the same
product
 with different advertisements and inviting influencers and artists as brand ambassadors.
As a result
, in a short time, they attract more new customers. After that, it can create more money to stabilize their financial distress.
Furthermore
, there is another reason why the
company
 initiates the rebranding of the same
product
. Typically, the
company
 has a different sense of promoting the
product
, which is the advertisement doesn't interest people.
As a result
, they need to rebrand the same products by using
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
 different ways,
such
 as implementing funny ads.
For example
, many advertisements in Thailand get the interest of people. Gaining more customers by implementing a funny ad. Indirectly, it can improve the
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
 of the companies.
To conclude
, the
company
's financial conditions address the issues of rebranding the same
product
. Obtaining a new potential
customer
 raises sales of the
product
.
Moreover
, funny ads make it easy to get customers
interest
Wrong verb form
interested
show examples
 in the products.
Submitted by haloalwan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: