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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The display chart shows the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20
as well as
Linking Words
 50 years of age by doing
hobbies
Use synonyms
, other
factors
Use synonyms
,
achievement
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
, being with family, financial security, doing
hobbies
Use synonyms
 and other
factors
Use synonyms
. For
people
Use synonyms
 under 30, the highest is
achievement
Use synonyms
 at 31%, doing
hobbies
Use synonyms
 is 22%, having a good appearance is 18%, travelling is 15% and other factorsis is 14%. In
people
Use synonyms
 over 30,
achievement
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 is 32%, being with family is 14%, financial security is 20%, doing
hobbies
Use synonyms
 is 24% and other
factors
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 10%.
People
Use synonyms
 under 30
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 happy by
achievement
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 is 31%.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the above data show what makes
people
Use synonyms
 happy and most
people
Use synonyms
 get happy
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
achievement
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
. The information is on other
factors
Use synonyms
,
achievement
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
, being with family, financial security and doing
hobbies
Use synonyms
 from
people
Use synonyms
 under 30 and
people
Use synonyms
 over 30.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hobbies, factors, achievement, work, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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