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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the cinema viewing figures for films by country, in millions

The table shows the cinema viewing figures for films by country, in millions
#cinema #figures #films #country #millions
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The supplied table displays and compares 4 types of cinema
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 watched by
people
Use synonyms
 in developed
countries
Use synonyms
. Seen together, the most facts to emerge from the table are that
action
Use synonyms
 is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular movie in all
countries
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,
while
Linking Words
horror
Use synonyms
 is
fourth
Correct article usage
the fourth
show examples
successful
Correct quantifier usage
most successful
show examples
 film,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 inhabitants of
India
Use synonyms
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
consist of all
cinema
Fix the agreement mistake
cinemas
show examples
 apart from
Horror
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. Looking at the information in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
,
Action
Use synonyms
 shows 29.9
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 20.3
million
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people
Use synonyms
 of
Romance
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. There are 8
m
Use synonyms
 (
action
Use synonyms
) and 7.5
m
Use synonyms
 (
Romance
Use synonyms
) in
India
Use synonyms
. Notwithstanding Ireland
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 up
7.6million
Correct your spelling
7.6 million
 individuals for
action
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 film is two times higher than that of
romance
Use synonyms
 (3.8
m
Use synonyms
). Regard as Japan and New Zealand, these
countries
Use synonyms
 account for almost tantamount
Use synonyms
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
show examples
 with 7.1 and 7.2 of
action
Use synonyms
besides
Linking Words
, 4.5
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 of
romance
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both
countries
Use synonyms
, respectively. Focusing on Comedy,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is third
famous
Correct quantifier usage
most famous
show examples
 with 19,9
million
Use synonyms
.
India
Use synonyms
 stood at the higher
points
Fix the agreement mistake
point
show examples
 (6.5m).
In contrast
Linking Words
, Ireland has 5.5
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching comedy. Comedy
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
 make up 3.9
million
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand,
Likewise
Linking Words
4million
Correct your spelling
4 million
 individuals in Japan. Alternatively,
15.8million
Correct your spelling
15.8 million
 of
people
Use synonyms
 belong
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Horror
Use synonyms
,
by contrast
Linking Words
, Ireland is three times higher (6.4m) than that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Japan and
India
Use synonyms
, they show 2.5m and 2.2
m
Use synonyms
, respectively,
similarly
Linking Words
 New Zealand account for 407
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inhabitants
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
horror
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by @ur_davrik on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, countries, action, horror, india, million, romance, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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